Thinking Big, Obvious Thoughts

The Homeschool Potluck Social was yesterday. I had a great time, so there is one measure of success. :) I've always said, if it's not fun, it's not worth it. More important than my own enjoyment, however, I hope everyone who came went home with what they were looking for, whether that was just a fully belly, or new friends or an idea of new directions they want to head in over the coming school year.

I came home thinking the sorts of things I always think after spending time with homeschoolers. "Wow! Everyone was so great!" "Their kids are doing great things." "That family is so lucky." And, as usual, these thoughts led to reflection on MY family and what we are doing. Sometimes I feel we just don't measure up.

That feeling has led to great inspiration on things we can do, on changes I can make as a mother to serve my children better. But sometimes these comparisons don't serve me at all. Just because the Jones's are doing XYZ, the Caspersons don't need to do it too. Even if the Jones's are homeschoolers like us. Even if the Jones's kids are the sort of smart, going-places kinds of kids the Caspersons hope to have.

My deep, obvious thought is this: Just because we like and admire people, we don't need to do what they do. That we are friends and have similar values doesn't mean we need to make the same choices.

Duh.

So as I lay awake thinking of all the cool things everyone else was doing, I released the hope that I would do the same things, just because we could, or because they were cool things to do.

Releasing this desire and comparison is HUGE for me. I can feel a bit overwhelmed with all I want to accomplish. How on earth can I balance all that AND nurturing and providing for my family the experiences THEY need? I have wondered.

Last night I realized what it is I REALLY want to do, at least in the short term. My desires: Pay off the house and travel the world with my family, and while pursing those, be fully engaged as a mother and in the educations of my children. Those goals are unlikely to result in me being famous or having my own business or being a great influence or making lots of money. (They TAKE money. This morning as I excitedly announced that I had figured out my life, my husband restated, "So what you are really saying is that you want to make a lot of money." "No honey," I clarified, "I want YOU to make a lot of money.")

Sometimes it feels as useful to know what it is you AREN'T going for as it is to identify what you DO want. True for trying to homeschool kids. True for life.

PS: GO Honey! :)