AUTHOR'S NOTE: The writing below is satirical and doesn't reflect the good done by public education, it's dedicated teachers, or the families that benefit from it.
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This was an unbelievable conversation I could have overheard. ;)
Mother 1: Now your daughter is turning 5, are you excited to begin eating out?
Mother 2: Yes, have any kid-friendly establishments you'd recommend?
M1: We really like Public k12.
M2: That's a curious name for a restaurant.
M1: It's a big chain. They are all over the country.
M2: So it's popular. Great. Is it cheap? Fast service?
M1: Well, no. You usually can't get out of there faster than about 13 years, and the least pricey thing on the menu is $84,000. They raise prices every few years.
M2: So it's gourmet?
M1: I'm not so sure about "gourmet." It's actually pretty standard. People who want gourmet go to different places and pay a lot more.
M2: But generous portions?
M1: Not really. They have done research on the minimums needed to get by, though, and are really dedicated to meeting those minimums.
M2: Like home cooking then. No frills, but wholesome.
M1: Well, more like eating vitamins. Everything is quite refined - taken from it's natural context and put in synthetic mega doses that are really hard to absorb.
M2: Well, at least it's sterile.
M1: Oh yes, the content is very. I don't know about the environment though.
M2: Oh?
M1: Well you might have some horrible experience with other customers that leaves you scared and scarred for years. But usually that might only be once or twice in the 13 years.
M2: Great. What else do you like about Public k12?
M1: Well, the price increases are a great indicator that they are staying on top of meeting the minimums they've identified. And recently they've taken further measures to ensure the burgers and fries come to you at exactly the same temperature - even if burgers and fries aren't your big thing - no matter which Public k12 to go to. It will be the same all over the country! Isn't that great?
M2: Standardization in little details like temperature does sound important. Can't people DIE from food not served at certain temperatures?
M1: Totally. But you know, I think my favorite thing about Public k12 is that all my friends and neighbors are there too.
M2: So it's just "the place to be." So cool.
M1: Exactly.
If you've been elsewhere on my blog, please tell me if you think this post is a little too charged. In general, I rather focus on great reasons to homeschool, and if public school works better for families, I respect them to make those sorts of decisions. I just couldn't help but explore what being jazzed about some aspects of public schooling might sound like. Should I delete this post as not in keeping with the spirit of the rest of the blog?
ReplyDeleteThanks!