AUTHOR'S NOTE: The writing below is satirical and doesn't reflect the good done by public education, it's dedicated teachers, or the families that benefit from it.
..........................................
This was an unbelievable conversation I could have overheard. ;)
Mother 1: Now your daughter is turning 5, are you excited to begin eating out?
Mother 2: Yes, have any kid-friendly establishments you'd recommend?
M1: We really like Public k12.
M2: That's a curious name for a restaurant.
M1: It's a big chain. They are all over the country.
M2: So it's popular. Great. Is it cheap? Fast service?
M1: Well, no. You usually can't get out of there faster than about 13 years, and the least pricey thing on the menu is $84,000. They raise prices every few years.
M2: So it's gourmet?
M1: I'm not so sure about "gourmet." It's actually pretty standard. People who want gourmet go to different places and pay a lot more.
M2: But generous portions?
M1: Not really. They have done research on the minimums needed to get by, though, and are really dedicated to meeting those minimums.
M2: Like home cooking then. No frills, but wholesome.
M1: Well, more like eating vitamins. Everything is quite refined - taken from it's natural context and put in synthetic mega doses that are really hard to absorb.
M2: Well, at least it's sterile.
M1: Oh yes, the content is very. I don't know about the environment though.
M2: Oh?
M1: Well you might have some horrible experience with other customers that leaves you scared and scarred for years. But usually that might only be once or twice in the 13 years.
M2: Great. What else do you like about Public k12?
M1: Well, the price increases are a great indicator that they are staying on top of meeting the minimums they've identified. And recently they've taken further measures to ensure the burgers and fries come to you at exactly the same temperature - even if burgers and fries aren't your big thing - no matter which Public k12 to go to. It will be the same all over the country! Isn't that great?
M2: Standardization in little details like temperature does sound important. Can't people DIE from food not served at certain temperatures?
M1: Totally. But you know, I think my favorite thing about Public k12 is that all my friends and neighbors are there too.
M2: So it's just "the place to be." So cool.
M1: Exactly.
Friday, June 28, 2013
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Reason #58: The Infuriating Self-trusting Child
My previous blog post was about trusting oneself - about tuning out all the competing voices that surround us, tuning into ourselves, and believing that we can find and know whatever it is we need to find and know.
I must confess doing so has been known to annoy my husband a time or two. "Why can't you ever just take what I'm telling you at face value!?" he's been known to grumble. Well, I'm not the best at accepting without question a lot of "wisdom" out there because I'm doing a gut check. I'm noting the similarities and differences between what I've learned and what my experience has been. Going back to the Emerson quote, I'm receiving the provocation, but accepting nothing on a word unless I've found it true in me. How annoying is that!?!
Can you imagine a whole classroom full of kids gut checking everything the teacher says. Trying to prove or disprove for themselves that 2 + 2 = 4. MORE annoying would be them trying to disprove much of our spelling and "phonics rules" for English. Why on earth IS "no" ALSO spelled "know." (Then you take the "k" off and it's "NOW"!!!????!!!)
I, for one, CAN imagine how frustrating such a reaction from children might be, because I faced that sort of reaction from my daughter each time I taught. After blogging about trusting ourselves, I realized THAT was the part of her I didn't want the schools to break. (I'd written in another post "...if she went to school either she'd break them [meaning the school] or they'd break her. And that would really be the greatest tragedy of them all!")
Teaching my own self-trusting child has been a challenge. For years she didn't sing her ABC's the same twice. (Why couldn't SHE make up a version as nice as mine?) Even younger than that, when I'd try to move her away from standing too close to the tops of staircases, she'd scream at me in frustration. If she'd had the words then, I'm sure she would have yelled, "I've got this mom!" She'd fallen enough that I knew she was at risk. But it was a risk she insisted repeatedly on taking. And when she decided to tackle writing, my spelling suggestions seemed ludicrous. (Why would I have all the answers all the time, anyway? Couldn't she ever know something with as much "rightness" as the things I knew?!)
As maddening as this may sound to any sympathetic parent, it is a PERFECT reason to homeschool! To ALLOW the learning process to flourish, self-trust in tact! Infuriating as this personality can be to a teacher, the student is our own child, and who better to put up with this than the parent!? :)
Is this slower? Yes! Would my daughter be "behind" compared to her traditionally schooled peers? Well... that's an interesting question.
Lets imagine that, as any good teacher might, I squashed the singing of the ABC's "ABCD Q FG." "Look dear," I might have lovingly explained, "That's not how it goes." Why? she might ask. "It's just not." And when she wrote me a note spelling the word "are" simply with an R, I said kindly, "When we say 'are' we can't use just a letter." But we ARE just saying R, she might protest. "I know but it's just not spelled that way." And with every other venture into knowledge she made, I kindly showed her where she was wrong, though my explanations of WHY she was wrong usually boiled down to, "because I said so" and therefore implied, "You need to trust ME."
Well, she might have come to spelling "are" correctly a lot sooner. But the more important lesson mastered would be that someone else knew better than her how to do whatever she wanted to do. Perhaps she'd better wait for instructions. When in doubt - and it's best to be in doubt about even things that seem obvious - you are probably wrong. So wait. Someone will be along shortly to tell you what to do.
(She IS grasping correct spelling now. Reading other "authors" use of the A-R-E spelling helped. Noting her own "spelling" was sometimes met with confusion by the receivers of her notes helped too.)
I'm going to make an important distinction now. Knowing facts from a curriculum before your peers is not necessarily "being ahead." Discovering truth for yourself after your peers have completed a curriculum is not necessarily "being behind." I'm not suggesting we shouldn't teach our children spelling or math or anything beyond what they are figuring out for themselves.
I AM noting that many adults struggle to trust themselves. When we consider how we are taught - largely in our experiences in school - we may discover a diminished sense of self-trust is the natural by-product of such teaching . I AM suggesting that fostering self-trust will give our children an edge in life. And I am LOVING homeschooling, where learning and self-trust can progress hand in hand!
I must confess doing so has been known to annoy my husband a time or two. "Why can't you ever just take what I'm telling you at face value!?" he's been known to grumble. Well, I'm not the best at accepting without question a lot of "wisdom" out there because I'm doing a gut check. I'm noting the similarities and differences between what I've learned and what my experience has been. Going back to the Emerson quote, I'm receiving the provocation, but accepting nothing on a word unless I've found it true in me. How annoying is that!?!
Can you imagine a whole classroom full of kids gut checking everything the teacher says. Trying to prove or disprove for themselves that 2 + 2 = 4. MORE annoying would be them trying to disprove much of our spelling and "phonics rules" for English. Why on earth IS "no" ALSO spelled "know." (Then you take the "k" off and it's "NOW"!!!????!!!)
I, for one, CAN imagine how frustrating such a reaction from children might be, because I faced that sort of reaction from my daughter each time I taught. After blogging about trusting ourselves, I realized THAT was the part of her I didn't want the schools to break. (I'd written in another post "...if she went to school either she'd break them [meaning the school] or they'd break her. And that would really be the greatest tragedy of them all!")
Teaching my own self-trusting child has been a challenge. For years she didn't sing her ABC's the same twice. (Why couldn't SHE make up a version as nice as mine?) Even younger than that, when I'd try to move her away from standing too close to the tops of staircases, she'd scream at me in frustration. If she'd had the words then, I'm sure she would have yelled, "I've got this mom!" She'd fallen enough that I knew she was at risk. But it was a risk she insisted repeatedly on taking. And when she decided to tackle writing, my spelling suggestions seemed ludicrous. (Why would I have all the answers all the time, anyway? Couldn't she ever know something with as much "rightness" as the things I knew?!)
As maddening as this may sound to any sympathetic parent, it is a PERFECT reason to homeschool! To ALLOW the learning process to flourish, self-trust in tact! Infuriating as this personality can be to a teacher, the student is our own child, and who better to put up with this than the parent!? :)
Is this slower? Yes! Would my daughter be "behind" compared to her traditionally schooled peers? Well... that's an interesting question.
Lets imagine that, as any good teacher might, I squashed the singing of the ABC's "ABCD Q FG." "Look dear," I might have lovingly explained, "That's not how it goes." Why? she might ask. "It's just not." And when she wrote me a note spelling the word "are" simply with an R, I said kindly, "When we say 'are' we can't use just a letter." But we ARE just saying R, she might protest. "I know but it's just not spelled that way." And with every other venture into knowledge she made, I kindly showed her where she was wrong, though my explanations of WHY she was wrong usually boiled down to, "because I said so" and therefore implied, "You need to trust ME."
Well, she might have come to spelling "are" correctly a lot sooner. But the more important lesson mastered would be that someone else knew better than her how to do whatever she wanted to do. Perhaps she'd better wait for instructions. When in doubt - and it's best to be in doubt about even things that seem obvious - you are probably wrong. So wait. Someone will be along shortly to tell you what to do.
(She IS grasping correct spelling now. Reading other "authors" use of the A-R-E spelling helped. Noting her own "spelling" was sometimes met with confusion by the receivers of her notes helped too.)
I'm going to make an important distinction now. Knowing facts from a curriculum before your peers is not necessarily "being ahead." Discovering truth for yourself after your peers have completed a curriculum is not necessarily "being behind." I'm not suggesting we shouldn't teach our children spelling or math or anything beyond what they are figuring out for themselves.
I AM noting that many adults struggle to trust themselves. When we consider how we are taught - largely in our experiences in school - we may discover a diminished sense of self-trust is the natural by-product of such teaching . I AM suggesting that fostering self-trust will give our children an edge in life. And I am LOVING homeschooling, where learning and self-trust can progress hand in hand!
Friday, June 21, 2013
Trust Yourself - the message of my remedial meditation
I found myself at a public park the other day with nothing to do. My two oldest were in a class. My youngest was sleeping in his stroller, and my third child was off adventuring with new "friends" (whomever she is playing at the park at the moment with - don't you love that!).
I don't carry a cell phone. And I didn't have a book. So I reverted to what I sometimes do when there is nothing else to do: meditate. I am not the best meditator, and as I generally only get around to it when there is nothing else to do.... Well, I bet you can guess that I'm grossly under-practiced.
Still, as I sat in the sun, I tried to clear my mind and just be. I noticed how rich with sound the park was. Instead of listening and labeling - what hearing usually means, I let the sounds wash over me. And an interesting thing happened: I couldn't understand language anymore. When I gave each noise equal value and attention, which is to say I was trying to give all sounds no value and pay attention to them all, the words of all the speakers (adults near me and kids as they ran by) faded into a soft babble.
Cool!
Here is where my meditation really ended, because I began to think thoughts I thought about and considered pretty smart, and wanted to blog about. :) So here they are!
First, I began to assume that is how infants experience the world. Of course, we know they don't understand language at first. But it hadn't occurred to me that they begin life at a more basic level than that. They don't yet understand the concept of language. In other words, they don't yet have the experience of sorting through the sounds around them to pick out voices, label them as voices, focus in on the voices, and let the rest pass without notice. Their mental filter is off. An adult's filter is usually set to very high. How often have you been listening to one thing and not heard another? Or midst all the noise around you, heard your baby cry?
That is a great example of a filter set to very high, and why HAVING a filter is desirable.
Back to the meditation, or my thoughts about it. THEN I began to consider that even adults can have malfunctioning filters. A baby very quickly learns to identify his mother's voice. In fact, he's got that one nailed before coming out, and just needs to put the voice with the face. But in certain areas, even vital to survival, how often do we adults allow ourselves to be washed over with a clamor of voices and experience the resulting confusion.
How easy is it to do that about homeschooling? Homeschooling can be a daunting endeavor! I think we can be easily tempted to mentally and emotionally take in more voices than we can sort out or make sense of. What is SHE using for curriculum? How do THEY schedule their days? What are the schools teaching and when? My mother-in-law thinks the kids will be socially maladjusted. The teacher down the road says she's never met a homeschooler who was "caught up" in math. Etc., etc., etc.
That is why my blog is so ironic. (I wish it was also filled with ironic wit. Alas.) Here I am shouting at you. Adding my voice to all the other voices tossing about opinions for you to consider. (For this very reason, I avoided blogging for FOREVER. I don't want anyone thinking, "Oh that is what Steffanie does? Maybe we should try THAT." And it seems that one who never READS blogs shouldn't think she has any business WRITING one.)
But then there is this: "The instinct is sure which prompts one to tell his brother what one thinks." That's Emerson, in his "The American Scholar" address.
And what I really think and believe is this: "The things that are really for thee gravitate to thee." (Emerson again in his address "The Over-Soul.") Put another way in yet another address, "Thy lot or portion of life is seeking after thee; therefore, be at rest from seeking after it."
Okay, one last quote because I'm really getting carried away now with Emerson quotes. "Truly speaking, it is not instruction but provocation that I can receive from another soul. What [she] announces [in her blog], I must find true in me, or wholly reject; and on [her] word, be [she] who [she] may, I can accept nothing."
Which is not to say you must stop reading MY blog. ;) Or finding answers by talking to people. After all, we are all sharing by sure instinct what we think. What WE (Emerson and I... ha!) are saying is, the truth of what you need to do, or how to solve a problem will find you. And it will ring as being true inside. Turn your filter on and TUNE IN to yourself. Hear your heart. And TRUST. Trust yourself to be right. Trust your instincts.
Finally, I know I said the last quote above was the last, but no one was here to intervene by grabbing my journal of favorite quotes, so I'll share this deep thought that has "rung true" for me. "I don't pretend to have all the answers. I don't pretend to even know what the questions are. Hey, where am I?" ~Jack Handy.
'Nuff said.
I don't carry a cell phone. And I didn't have a book. So I reverted to what I sometimes do when there is nothing else to do: meditate. I am not the best meditator, and as I generally only get around to it when there is nothing else to do.... Well, I bet you can guess that I'm grossly under-practiced.
Still, as I sat in the sun, I tried to clear my mind and just be. I noticed how rich with sound the park was. Instead of listening and labeling - what hearing usually means, I let the sounds wash over me. And an interesting thing happened: I couldn't understand language anymore. When I gave each noise equal value and attention, which is to say I was trying to give all sounds no value and pay attention to them all, the words of all the speakers (adults near me and kids as they ran by) faded into a soft babble.
Cool!
Here is where my meditation really ended, because I began to think thoughts I thought about and considered pretty smart, and wanted to blog about. :) So here they are!
First, I began to assume that is how infants experience the world. Of course, we know they don't understand language at first. But it hadn't occurred to me that they begin life at a more basic level than that. They don't yet understand the concept of language. In other words, they don't yet have the experience of sorting through the sounds around them to pick out voices, label them as voices, focus in on the voices, and let the rest pass without notice. Their mental filter is off. An adult's filter is usually set to very high. How often have you been listening to one thing and not heard another? Or midst all the noise around you, heard your baby cry?
That is a great example of a filter set to very high, and why HAVING a filter is desirable.
Back to the meditation, or my thoughts about it. THEN I began to consider that even adults can have malfunctioning filters. A baby very quickly learns to identify his mother's voice. In fact, he's got that one nailed before coming out, and just needs to put the voice with the face. But in certain areas, even vital to survival, how often do we adults allow ourselves to be washed over with a clamor of voices and experience the resulting confusion.
How easy is it to do that about homeschooling? Homeschooling can be a daunting endeavor! I think we can be easily tempted to mentally and emotionally take in more voices than we can sort out or make sense of. What is SHE using for curriculum? How do THEY schedule their days? What are the schools teaching and when? My mother-in-law thinks the kids will be socially maladjusted. The teacher down the road says she's never met a homeschooler who was "caught up" in math. Etc., etc., etc.
That is why my blog is so ironic. (I wish it was also filled with ironic wit. Alas.) Here I am shouting at you. Adding my voice to all the other voices tossing about opinions for you to consider. (For this very reason, I avoided blogging for FOREVER. I don't want anyone thinking, "Oh that is what Steffanie does? Maybe we should try THAT." And it seems that one who never READS blogs shouldn't think she has any business WRITING one.)
But then there is this: "The instinct is sure which prompts one to tell his brother what one thinks." That's Emerson, in his "The American Scholar" address.
And what I really think and believe is this: "The things that are really for thee gravitate to thee." (Emerson again in his address "The Over-Soul.") Put another way in yet another address, "Thy lot or portion of life is seeking after thee; therefore, be at rest from seeking after it."
Okay, one last quote because I'm really getting carried away now with Emerson quotes. "Truly speaking, it is not instruction but provocation that I can receive from another soul. What [she] announces [in her blog], I must find true in me, or wholly reject; and on [her] word, be [she] who [she] may, I can accept nothing."
Which is not to say you must stop reading MY blog. ;) Or finding answers by talking to people. After all, we are all sharing by sure instinct what we think. What WE (Emerson and I... ha!) are saying is, the truth of what you need to do, or how to solve a problem will find you. And it will ring as being true inside. Turn your filter on and TUNE IN to yourself. Hear your heart. And TRUST. Trust yourself to be right. Trust your instincts.
Finally, I know I said the last quote above was the last, but no one was here to intervene by grabbing my journal of favorite quotes, so I'll share this deep thought that has "rung true" for me. "I don't pretend to have all the answers. I don't pretend to even know what the questions are. Hey, where am I?" ~Jack Handy.
'Nuff said.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
House Cleaning, a House of Order, and Homeschooling
I love homeschooling because it allows us to strip away the unessential in learning and life and focus and fall in love with what IS essential.
It's a common complaint among homeschooling families that it's difficult to have a clean house and homeschool. There isn't a break for the house when the mess makers are finally out the door and the parent can begin to repair the chaos left in the wake of the rush to meet school deadlines.
But like recognizing that most of school deadlines aren't about what essential but what is merely convenient, or what is done, cleaning a home has those layers too - arbitrary expectations just waiting to be peeled away.
I begin with the concept "a house of order," and our cultural equivocating of cleanliness with holiness. For starters, I'm not convinced "order" relates mainly to being clean. I don't want to argue that living in a sty is MORE holy. But I think if we want "holy" order, we do things as God does them. So how DOES that work, anyway? Well, God is a creator, and I can't think of one creative process that isn't a little messy. So forbidding our children to create in the name of "order" won't bring us any closer to God, in my opinion.
From the creation of the world, we learn that it took time. It was a process. God did a little each day. He wasn't tossing about rocks and animal parts - tearing every creative element off the shelf at once, so to speak. Rocks had their time. Animals were a different day. And so we CAN teach our kids to assemble what they need and complete their work. So they can be ready to create something new tomorrow. THAT is order: first we create, then we clean up after ourselves. And we even rest. Praise be to God for not leaving THAT out of His role modeling. :)
I try to be very careful to not apologize for the state of my house at any time. I can't imagine God apologizing, had you visited the earth in the first few days of creation, "I'm so sorry. I've just got rock and some water and light right now. I promise, in a few days, it will look great!" So if you happen to stop by when we are creating, be that creation a meal, a blanket fort, or a science experiment, you will see a "mess." I am confident that I am not the mess, nor is the mess me or my children. If our guests have a moment of confusion, labeling our family as "messy people," that is simply unfortunate for them.
I feel confident that we are not a mess because I take the time to teach my children how to clean. THAT is order as well: mom is in charge of our home, she delegates and instructs the children on how to care for it. Cleaning day is Monday. I used to clean every day because I like things clean. But I realized that I was wasting my life on tasks that were undone in less than 5 minutes of fun. I could clean away my kids' childhoods. I could stress that their childhoods interfere with my clean home. But I've fallen in love with another essential: that my kids have the skill to clean, NOT that they have a clean home.
Because I want them to know what clean feels like, we moved all the cleaning to one day, and after the few hours it takes of team effort, I have us all take a moment to walk through the house taking it in. (Please stop by my home Monday afternoons if you want to think of me as a "clean" person. I generally try to have any guests I'm worried about come Mondays or Tuesdays for just this reason.) The kids like our home to be clean. I see the satisfaction in their eyes after their work on cleaning day. But part of our "order" is knowing that children are children. Just like we don't expect creation to be clean, we don't expect children to honor cleanliness above all else.
Speaking of arbitrary expectations, I wonder that culturally, we have an expectation that Sunday is the best day to HAVE a clean home. Saturday is "the day we get ready for Sunday," we sing at our church. And then the song goes on to cheerfully describe all the work of Saturday. I hear adults quoting this song as the reason their families clean on Saturdays. Apparently it's "what is done." I assert that there is nothing holy about Saturday as a cleaning day. If that works best for your family, great. As for me and my house, Saturday means yard work (more training on physical labor and gardening for my kids) but it also means fun with Dad, and getting out in the community to enjoy it's offerings. We don't have the stamina to do it all, and if we really rest on Sunday, the house is a complete disaster by Monday mornings after all that work. We DO really rest on Sunday, so I've moved cleaning to Monday and Saturdays have become much less stressful for everyone, and a lot more fun.
Is it less peaceful on Sunday to relax in a house that has been largely neglected for two days? Yes. But it's also less peaceful to rest in a house you have just cleaned and don't want anyone to use again for a bit so it can stay clean FOR FIVE SECONDS! I've just traded one relaxation for another, and experienced more peace for the trade.
It IS a challenge to homeschool and maintain a perfectly clean home. But we've peeled away that non-essential expectation and strive instead for a house of order. I strive to teach my kids there is a time and season for everything, even a time to make messes. And then a time to clean them up. I lead, even in cleaning, by example, because part of our order is who is in charge and how she teaches. And we live by the order of knowing our limits - what there is time in a day to do, and what there is NOT time to do. We try not to run faster than we have strength. We try not to set "faster" expectations for our children.
I love the peace doing so brings!
It's a common complaint among homeschooling families that it's difficult to have a clean house and homeschool. There isn't a break for the house when the mess makers are finally out the door and the parent can begin to repair the chaos left in the wake of the rush to meet school deadlines.
But like recognizing that most of school deadlines aren't about what essential but what is merely convenient, or what is done, cleaning a home has those layers too - arbitrary expectations just waiting to be peeled away.
I begin with the concept "a house of order," and our cultural equivocating of cleanliness with holiness. For starters, I'm not convinced "order" relates mainly to being clean. I don't want to argue that living in a sty is MORE holy. But I think if we want "holy" order, we do things as God does them. So how DOES that work, anyway? Well, God is a creator, and I can't think of one creative process that isn't a little messy. So forbidding our children to create in the name of "order" won't bring us any closer to God, in my opinion.
From the creation of the world, we learn that it took time. It was a process. God did a little each day. He wasn't tossing about rocks and animal parts - tearing every creative element off the shelf at once, so to speak. Rocks had their time. Animals were a different day. And so we CAN teach our kids to assemble what they need and complete their work. So they can be ready to create something new tomorrow. THAT is order: first we create, then we clean up after ourselves. And we even rest. Praise be to God for not leaving THAT out of His role modeling. :)
I try to be very careful to not apologize for the state of my house at any time. I can't imagine God apologizing, had you visited the earth in the first few days of creation, "I'm so sorry. I've just got rock and some water and light right now. I promise, in a few days, it will look great!" So if you happen to stop by when we are creating, be that creation a meal, a blanket fort, or a science experiment, you will see a "mess." I am confident that I am not the mess, nor is the mess me or my children. If our guests have a moment of confusion, labeling our family as "messy people," that is simply unfortunate for them.
I feel confident that we are not a mess because I take the time to teach my children how to clean. THAT is order as well: mom is in charge of our home, she delegates and instructs the children on how to care for it. Cleaning day is Monday. I used to clean every day because I like things clean. But I realized that I was wasting my life on tasks that were undone in less than 5 minutes of fun. I could clean away my kids' childhoods. I could stress that their childhoods interfere with my clean home. But I've fallen in love with another essential: that my kids have the skill to clean, NOT that they have a clean home.
Because I want them to know what clean feels like, we moved all the cleaning to one day, and after the few hours it takes of team effort, I have us all take a moment to walk through the house taking it in. (Please stop by my home Monday afternoons if you want to think of me as a "clean" person. I generally try to have any guests I'm worried about come Mondays or Tuesdays for just this reason.) The kids like our home to be clean. I see the satisfaction in their eyes after their work on cleaning day. But part of our "order" is knowing that children are children. Just like we don't expect creation to be clean, we don't expect children to honor cleanliness above all else.
Speaking of arbitrary expectations, I wonder that culturally, we have an expectation that Sunday is the best day to HAVE a clean home. Saturday is "the day we get ready for Sunday," we sing at our church. And then the song goes on to cheerfully describe all the work of Saturday. I hear adults quoting this song as the reason their families clean on Saturdays. Apparently it's "what is done." I assert that there is nothing holy about Saturday as a cleaning day. If that works best for your family, great. As for me and my house, Saturday means yard work (more training on physical labor and gardening for my kids) but it also means fun with Dad, and getting out in the community to enjoy it's offerings. We don't have the stamina to do it all, and if we really rest on Sunday, the house is a complete disaster by Monday mornings after all that work. We DO really rest on Sunday, so I've moved cleaning to Monday and Saturdays have become much less stressful for everyone, and a lot more fun.
Is it less peaceful on Sunday to relax in a house that has been largely neglected for two days? Yes. But it's also less peaceful to rest in a house you have just cleaned and don't want anyone to use again for a bit so it can stay clean FOR FIVE SECONDS! I've just traded one relaxation for another, and experienced more peace for the trade.
It IS a challenge to homeschool and maintain a perfectly clean home. But we've peeled away that non-essential expectation and strive instead for a house of order. I strive to teach my kids there is a time and season for everything, even a time to make messes. And then a time to clean them up. I lead, even in cleaning, by example, because part of our order is who is in charge and how she teaches. And we live by the order of knowing our limits - what there is time in a day to do, and what there is NOT time to do. We try not to run faster than we have strength. We try not to set "faster" expectations for our children.
I love the peace doing so brings!
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Of Gardens and Children
I wrote this last summer. Me and the kids are back in the yard working this year, so I thought I'd share it here.
I find when meditating, it's best to start where you are at.
This morning, I was feeling all the anxiousness of getting out into my yard to make something of it. It's a process I've enjoyed for years now. We began with rocks and weeds, literally. And it was difficult at times to say which we had more of. For the whole first year - well, at least before the rocks were buried by weeds - we just walked back and forth across the land, finding rocks in the dirt, digging them out, putting them in the wagon, and hauling them to one of our many rock piles. It was back-breaking and exhausting. And after a year, it seemed like we had little but the piles of rocks to show - still an expanse of weeds and dirt too rocky to till. I remember feeling like we'd never even be able to plant grass!
Four years later we do have grass... and trees, and flowers, and herbs, and a garden. And still a lot of rocks and dirt and weeds. But what we've done is beautiful and it entices me to do more. So I spent some time this morning feeling that desire. And then some time feeling gratitude for the beauty that is there. And then I thought I might spend a moment feeling gratitude for all the rocks. All those rocks which we pulled by hand out of the very hard earth now line our flower beds and walkways and ditch bank. The rocks have taught me more than the flowers. For one, I've learned it's best not to attempt some things myself. In our second year we hired a guy to come run a pre-seeder, which pressed the remaining rocks into the ground and made eveything look flat and weed-free. In a few minutes it accomplished what we had not been able to do in more than a summer of labor.
But there was one other significant benefit, aside from unearthing an endless supply of rock, that I gained from that first year of digging. I spent, in that year, a lot of time outside in my yard. I noted how the land rolled, where the shadows of the trees fell, which areas got the most sun, what was seen best by the windows of the house. And as I worked I imagined what the yard would someday be. That year fleshed out a vision of the yard we hope to have in 20 years. There is a fire pit, a root cellar, a tree house, a sledding hill, an orchard, a bowery, 3 different gardens, grapes, chickens, bees, and a green house.
It quite literally will take 20 years to make the yard equal to the vision and this morning I marveled that I seemed to be up for that kind of work and commitment. But I come back to what I tell my kids as we work together: "This is our piece of land. On all the planet, this is ours. There is nothing between us and heaven. So no matter how insignificant our .35 acre is, it is the speck that adds to the beauty of earth you can see from space."
I don't actually believe the land can ever really be ours. How can you own something that has been here for hundreds of millions of years, and has millions more to go? I guess I figure this .35 acre is my charge now, my stewardship, and I feel moved to make the most of it for all of the time it's in my care.
That's where the meditation began. I went next in my thoughts to my family. (Yes, the yard came first, but as misplaced as it might seem, I really do like to start where I'm at. Maybe after getting all those thoughts out, I could move on to what was really important.) So I thought of my kids. I began with the oldest and felt gratitude for his strengths. And then, because I'd spent time feeling gratitude for the rocks, I paused to feel gratitude for my son's rocks too. He isn't perfect. He has weaknesses, and in all honesty, sometimes the weaknesses drive me more than a little crazy. And when you add those to the weaknesses of my other children, I can find myself somewhere between deep frustration and outrage depending on the day and moment.
Well, it's time to be a gardener of my children. Of course, I don't own them. How can I own the souls that have existed before the world was and will go on existing after the earth is gone? But I feel to make the most of all the time they are in my care. It's a 20 year project, give or take. I began with each at the most basic phase - meeting their minimal needs. I have one with basic needs now. And I'm exhausting my body holding, feeding, changing all day. But as I do, I will unearth who he is. I will find his sunny spots and nice views. And I'll find some rocks too.
As I took the time to feel gratitude for the rocks of the older 3, I unearthed 3 blessings of rocks - in yards and in kids. There is the blessing of the labor itself, what it does for the one laboring over the extraction. My kids grow as they work on their weaknesses. I grow as I give them the time and patience they need to do so. There is also the blessing of what the rock can make when placed with direction and purpose. In my own self I've found there is a place, a small place for my own rocks. When they've been flung about in abundance they are an obstacle. When I use with care those traits that might normally be regarded as weakness, they can do great things, be just what I need to create something beautiful. It's been hard to see that in myself. It's much easier to see how the things that my kids do that drive me nuts can very easily become the traits that take them the furthest in life if they learn to use them and not to fling them. Lastly there is the blessing of time, specifically the time spent on the labor and the rocks. All this time will enhance the vision of who my children really are and who and what they can become. My vision AND their own visions.
In these 20 year projects, there will be times when I'm relieved to outsource! Mostly, that we're growing together in "do-it-yourself" fashion is more satisfying to my soul than getting it done fast. I close my eyes and imagine a time 20 years from now when I'm sitting in my beautiful yard with my grown children. We'll know the rocks, we've placed them ourselves. They are a part of the end purpose which we've enjoyed from the beginning. And I bask now in gratitude for 20 years of memories.
Friday, June 14, 2013
The Upside of a Failing Schedule
One of the comforting sentiments when I began the homeschooling journey was that I would not have to spend as much time teaching as children go to school. We could "cover more ground in less time."
Good, I thought, because that would be exhausting. And I had other things to do with my time. So I set about planning a reduced teaching schedule. Each day would begin with the pledge of allegiance, a song and a prayer. Then we would sing the ABC's while I pointed to the letters. (My oldest was 3 or 4). I don't remember what was supposed to come after that, though I know we did something. But usually by the singing of the ABC's, I was frustrated that he didn't seem to be connecting in his mind the song and what I was pointing to, so we'd start over. Or the phone would ring. Or his little sister would wake up. (She was a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad napper.)
At some point I realized that my frustration with our inability to follow even the simplest schedule was getting in the way of our relationship and my son's enthusiasm for learning anything with mom. This may sound very wise, but it was just a bumping up against the harsh reality that I could not homeschool (or parent, really) according to MY capacity to focus, stick to it, persevere, be engaged, or instruct. Why? Because it wasn't about me. The end goal was not that I had tried my best, or stuck to a schedule, or covered certain material, or had taught well. The end goal was LEARNING, and that was the job of my son.
So I backed off and began to notice how it was that he was already learning. When your children are as young as 3 or 4 you can SEE them learning - they are making new discoveries, asking TONS of questions, exploring everything around them. Watching the learning process happen, I discovered 2 things: it was always fun and it was rarely related to "instruction."
I decided that I wanted in on the fun. I scrapped the idea that we had to cover what the other preschoolers and kindergarten kids were learning. (Yes, this process of letting go took all that time, filled with more scheduling attempts and failures.) We began to study what I wanted to learn about - the cultures of the world - and we began to make learning the basics more fun. We went on treasure hunts to find objects that began with a certain letter. Inspired by my son's love of super heroes, I had him put on a cape, fly in, and wipe out the bad guys, whatever the offending letters were, on a whiteboard filled with the letters of the alphabet.
Did we do this every day? No. Our treasure hunt walks came when his little sister needed to sleep and being outside in the stroller would help her. Our games came when he wanted to play and had run out of his own ideas.
We had a blast, learned a lot, and the best part was, this little guy, whom I wanted to keep with me instead of send off to a stranger to be taught, was my best buddy.
He is now 10. He reads. He writes. He still pretends to be a Super Hero. We still study the cultures of the world together because we love it. He and I are still close. I have another daughter who is as old as he was when we began, and a baby the age of the little sister who didn't nap. (And THIS baby is not the best napper either.)
I'm so glad I let go of schedules long ago, because I would be spending so much energy now trying to keep 4 children on one. Now we follow rhythms. I watch when my kids, individually and as a group, naturally play together, naturally need a break or a snack or an outing. I encourage my oldest, when he is fresh in the morning, to hop on the computer and do the stuff he needs to do. (Yes, we have arrived at some drills and practicing. Is it surprising that he handles them much better as an older kid than he did as a 4 year old?) When it's hot outside in the afternoon, I read to them in the basement, or we paint castles made from shoe boxes. When they are stir crazy in the morning, I'll announce, "Let's learn about the BLACK DEATH!" and so we study and imagine. And when one day seems filled with my suggestions, even happily taken, the next I'll pull back and let them sort things out and find what they want to do.
I'm so glad my attempts to schedule our lives failed. Why? Because learning is fun, it is not about me, and it happens regardless of what we think should be going on, if we are wise enough to let it.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Glimpses
How could I forget!? I'v added the book Glimpses Into the Life and Heart of Marjorie Pay Hinckley to my most influential book list.
Marjorie Hinckley was wife to Gordon B. Hickley, President of the LDS church from 1995 to 2008. His biography was okay. But "Glimpses" changed my life and mothering.
I wanted to share a story and a quote from the chapter about mothering that I still reference and try to emulate with my own kids.
In the first, Marjorie's oldest son went missing. She thought all day about the speech she was going to give him when he showed up at mealtime after a day of shirking all the work there was to do. He had been "down in the hollow." When his mother asked him what he was doing there, he answered, "Nothing."
Well she didn't give him the speech, and shared why she was glad of it. Years later he was home and under a lot of pressure - university, tests, struggles with his girlfriend. He was feeling the pressures of adult life, but he reflected to his mother how his childhood had been wonderful. "Those long summer days, when you could lie on your back in the hollow and listen to the birds sing and watch the ants build their castles."
Marjorie taught, "The memory of the peace of a summer day - 'God's in his heaven, and all's right with the world' - sustained him when the pressures of adult life began to crowd in."
I wonder what will sustain our children if we don't allow them time to find peace and contentment in childhood? I love homeschooling because, as Emerson put it, we can give our children "leave to be what [they] inly [are]."
Finally, the quote. Said Marjorie Hickley, "My mother taught me some basic philosophies of rearing children. One is that you have to trust children. I tried hard never to say 'no' if I could possible say 'yes.' I think that worked well because it gave my children the feeling that I trusted them and they were responsible to do the best they could."
I love this, first because in my home growing up, we were given a knee-jerk 'no' to almost everything. It's a practice I've tried to reverse with my own children. But trusting children is a powerful idea. In our homeschooling journey I am learning I can! They are amazing learners and part of my role is to not interfere with that process which they were born knowing so well. I confess, I am still practicing this.... It's good to have a place to share the good that I'm discovering comes with trusting children.
Marjorie Hinckley was wife to Gordon B. Hickley, President of the LDS church from 1995 to 2008. His biography was okay. But "Glimpses" changed my life and mothering.
I wanted to share a story and a quote from the chapter about mothering that I still reference and try to emulate with my own kids.
In the first, Marjorie's oldest son went missing. She thought all day about the speech she was going to give him when he showed up at mealtime after a day of shirking all the work there was to do. He had been "down in the hollow." When his mother asked him what he was doing there, he answered, "Nothing."
Well she didn't give him the speech, and shared why she was glad of it. Years later he was home and under a lot of pressure - university, tests, struggles with his girlfriend. He was feeling the pressures of adult life, but he reflected to his mother how his childhood had been wonderful. "Those long summer days, when you could lie on your back in the hollow and listen to the birds sing and watch the ants build their castles."
Marjorie taught, "The memory of the peace of a summer day - 'God's in his heaven, and all's right with the world' - sustained him when the pressures of adult life began to crowd in."
I wonder what will sustain our children if we don't allow them time to find peace and contentment in childhood? I love homeschooling because, as Emerson put it, we can give our children "leave to be what [they] inly [are]."
Finally, the quote. Said Marjorie Hickley, "My mother taught me some basic philosophies of rearing children. One is that you have to trust children. I tried hard never to say 'no' if I could possible say 'yes.' I think that worked well because it gave my children the feeling that I trusted them and they were responsible to do the best they could."
I love this, first because in my home growing up, we were given a knee-jerk 'no' to almost everything. It's a practice I've tried to reverse with my own children. But trusting children is a powerful idea. In our homeschooling journey I am learning I can! They are amazing learners and part of my role is to not interfere with that process which they were born knowing so well. I confess, I am still practicing this.... It's good to have a place to share the good that I'm discovering comes with trusting children.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
The Economics of Homeschooling
This isn't a post about how much homeschooling costs. I don't imagine anyone knows. Well, most homeschoolers know, but the answers would be so varied they could not come under the title, "The Economics of Homeschooling."
But I do want to delve into some costs of education because a friend of mine whom I admire very much recently said that it seemed to her that sending her kids to school was the easiest, cheapest way to get them their educations.
That is certainly one point of view. I commented a year or more ago about the cost of education in the editorial section of a local newspaper. Judging by the comments made in response to mine, many hold the opinion that for what it provides, a public education is a great value.
Interestingly, as of 2010, Utah (where I live), ranking dead last in the nation, spends $6,500 per pupil per school year. (Go here to check it out.) That figure includes costs like administration, but doesn't include things like busing, or the buildings and maintenance of the schools. So a student entering kindergarten this year may expect the state to pay $84,500 for his or her high school diploma. (And of course, that is a low ball park, because per pupil spending increases by several hundred dollars every few years.)
When one considers the knowledge a high school graduate has, the skills he or she has mastered, and the preparation for life it might be said he or she has "completed," I would argue that we are getting very little for the price. It is interesting to do the math and consider what the state is spending on families. When I think that my family costs $338,000 to be state-educated, I can't help but feel that if I were given more say about how that money should be spent, that firstly, my children might have a lot more to show for it, and secondly, that they might show a great deal more for a great deal less. Certainly families who feel they can't homeschool because both parents need to work to keep the family afloat, might have a different experience entirely if THEY got more say over how that figure is spent. (And remember, this figure doesn't represent the physical costs of building and maintaining a school.)
I am not trying to start a movement by sharing this information. But I do wish the public at large would be educated themselves about the costs of our "free" public educational system before they comment on it's value.
I actually am posting because there is a far dearer price being paid in the name of receiving a public education.
When my friend mentioned that to her it seemed the cheapest way to come by an education, I wondered to myself how her children would vote. In fact, I do know this friend has discussed homeschooling with her kids and they largely have voted to stay put in their public school. That is fine. But there is a price. It is this: 2,340 days, or 16,380 hours spent on obtaining the knowledge and skill one derives from a public education.
Lest that seem reasonable, let me further explain that if the average school aged students sleep 8 hours a day, watch TV for the current average of 3 hrs/day, spend 9 hours in school, getting ready for school, and getting there and back, an hour for breakfast and dinner and just an hour on homework, they are left with only 2 hours (assuming they have no lessons or sports or extra-curricular activities) - not solid, not back to back, not uninterrupted, but 2 hours total a day with which to find their paths, their voices, their souls, and their reasons for being on this earth.
THAT is the price of public education.
What are the economics of homeschooling? Spending a childhood on adventure, discovery, and the sort of soul fashioning that will serve our children throughout their lives.
But I do want to delve into some costs of education because a friend of mine whom I admire very much recently said that it seemed to her that sending her kids to school was the easiest, cheapest way to get them their educations.
That is certainly one point of view. I commented a year or more ago about the cost of education in the editorial section of a local newspaper. Judging by the comments made in response to mine, many hold the opinion that for what it provides, a public education is a great value.
Interestingly, as of 2010, Utah (where I live), ranking dead last in the nation, spends $6,500 per pupil per school year. (Go here to check it out.) That figure includes costs like administration, but doesn't include things like busing, or the buildings and maintenance of the schools. So a student entering kindergarten this year may expect the state to pay $84,500 for his or her high school diploma. (And of course, that is a low ball park, because per pupil spending increases by several hundred dollars every few years.)
When one considers the knowledge a high school graduate has, the skills he or she has mastered, and the preparation for life it might be said he or she has "completed," I would argue that we are getting very little for the price. It is interesting to do the math and consider what the state is spending on families. When I think that my family costs $338,000 to be state-educated, I can't help but feel that if I were given more say about how that money should be spent, that firstly, my children might have a lot more to show for it, and secondly, that they might show a great deal more for a great deal less. Certainly families who feel they can't homeschool because both parents need to work to keep the family afloat, might have a different experience entirely if THEY got more say over how that figure is spent. (And remember, this figure doesn't represent the physical costs of building and maintaining a school.)
I am not trying to start a movement by sharing this information. But I do wish the public at large would be educated themselves about the costs of our "free" public educational system before they comment on it's value.
I actually am posting because there is a far dearer price being paid in the name of receiving a public education.
When my friend mentioned that to her it seemed the cheapest way to come by an education, I wondered to myself how her children would vote. In fact, I do know this friend has discussed homeschooling with her kids and they largely have voted to stay put in their public school. That is fine. But there is a price. It is this: 2,340 days, or 16,380 hours spent on obtaining the knowledge and skill one derives from a public education.
Lest that seem reasonable, let me further explain that if the average school aged students sleep 8 hours a day, watch TV for the current average of 3 hrs/day, spend 9 hours in school, getting ready for school, and getting there and back, an hour for breakfast and dinner and just an hour on homework, they are left with only 2 hours (assuming they have no lessons or sports or extra-curricular activities) - not solid, not back to back, not uninterrupted, but 2 hours total a day with which to find their paths, their voices, their souls, and their reasons for being on this earth.
THAT is the price of public education.
What are the economics of homeschooling? Spending a childhood on adventure, discovery, and the sort of soul fashioning that will serve our children throughout their lives.
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Quantity, Quality, and the Home Library
I love reading, but I find there are very few things worth saving. This is my personality. (And evidence of the impact reading Walden Pond had on me.) Stuff drains energy.
Now a book you love, that you would read again, that you want your children to love - that isn't stuff, it's a treasure, an heirloom. I own a few books that are out of print and ADORE them. But we also read them, yes even though they are novels, about once a year or so.
I don't, however, like keeping anything without immediate utility. (Okay, I do save some things - clothes,etc. that I rather not go buy when their time of utility comes, but not too often, and not in great volume.) We regularly make trips to the DI with the things we've outgrown. And by outgrown I mean clothes, toys that have lost interest, and books that the kids aren't interested in anymore.
I recently went to my grandpa's house and the kids had a blast playing with old toys, and for a moment, I wondered if my children's children would miss their parents toys. But when I came home and LOOKED at their parents toys, I discovered they just don't make them like they used to. So I save a few sturdy "classics," but the rest are trashed or recycled or given away.
I feel the same way about books, and ESPECIALLY children's books. For the fun pictures and newness of a book, there are few my kids have not shown an interest in at one time or another.That doesn't make them a work of art, a treasure, an heirloom, or give them permanent utility. Unless they are written and illustrated WELL and impart the sort of knowledge worth keeping, they aren't going to be around for the grandkids.
Examples of ones we keep: The Giving Tree, by Shel Silverstein; Oh the Places You'll Go, by Dr. Seuss.
I like getting books from the library. From what we check out, there are definitely some I put on my list of books to OWN. And I know that list will grow. And in the end, I like the idea of having a library that reflects our values as a family, who we are, the knowledge we've gained. But that sort of library can't be had in a moment. So we build slowly and lose the "stuff" and I find I keep and take care of our books, instead of them keeping me.
Now a book you love, that you would read again, that you want your children to love - that isn't stuff, it's a treasure, an heirloom. I own a few books that are out of print and ADORE them. But we also read them, yes even though they are novels, about once a year or so.
I don't, however, like keeping anything without immediate utility. (Okay, I do save some things - clothes,etc. that I rather not go buy when their time of utility comes, but not too often, and not in great volume.) We regularly make trips to the DI with the things we've outgrown. And by outgrown I mean clothes, toys that have lost interest, and books that the kids aren't interested in anymore.
I recently went to my grandpa's house and the kids had a blast playing with old toys, and for a moment, I wondered if my children's children would miss their parents toys. But when I came home and LOOKED at their parents toys, I discovered they just don't make them like they used to. So I save a few sturdy "classics," but the rest are trashed or recycled or given away.
I feel the same way about books, and ESPECIALLY children's books. For the fun pictures and newness of a book, there are few my kids have not shown an interest in at one time or another.That doesn't make them a work of art, a treasure, an heirloom, or give them permanent utility. Unless they are written and illustrated WELL and impart the sort of knowledge worth keeping, they aren't going to be around for the grandkids.
Examples of ones we keep: The Giving Tree, by Shel Silverstein; Oh the Places You'll Go, by Dr. Seuss.
I like getting books from the library. From what we check out, there are definitely some I put on my list of books to OWN. And I know that list will grow. And in the end, I like the idea of having a library that reflects our values as a family, who we are, the knowledge we've gained. But that sort of library can't be had in a moment. So we build slowly and lose the "stuff" and I find I keep and take care of our books, instead of them keeping me.
Reason #362 - REAL tests
We love our homeschooling journey. I love our time together as a family. I love the closeness I feel to my kids, and that they have with each other. We love the freedom to come and go as we please and study what our passions and interests dictate. But none of this is any academic measurement of success.
As a homeschooler, I have seen first hand that standardized tests are no better measurement of academic understanding either. We "follow" (swerve in and out of) a k12 curriculum for science and history and I have noticed as I help my kids through them that sometimes the tests fail to ask about concepts that have been my kids' favorites, and other times, they ask questions with one confusing word that might demonstrate to any teacher not paying attention that the concept has been missed, when it's only a poorly written question that is the problem. So if tests are no good for measuring, neither are grades which are made up of tests and scores.
So I've wondered if there was some intermediate measurement that would work before my kids ultimately enter the workforce where the market will pay them what they think their skill and store of knowledge is worth. Found a GREAT measuring concept in one of my most influential books, John Holt's How Children Fail.
"I feel I understand something if I can do some, at least, of the following: 1) state it in my own words; 2)give examples of it; 3) recognize it in various guises and circumstances; 4) see connections between it and other facts or ideas; 5) make use of it in various ways; 6) foresee some of it's consequences; 7) state its opposite or converse. This list is only a beginning...."
Yay! I've tried to describe this idea before as knowledge my kids "own." Holt calls it "real learning as opposed to apparent learning."
Holt says schools fail to make a distinction. "According to many of them, if you can say that 7X8=56, you know all there is to know about that particular fact.... The only difference between the mathematician and the child is that the mathematician carries around in his head many more such facts. So to make children into mathematicians all we have to do is train them, condition them, until they can say many such facts. Teach them to say everything that Einstein knew, and hey, presto! another Einstein!"
He contrasts this viewpoint with the following: "A child who has really learned something can use it, and does use it. It is connected with reality in his mind, therefore he can make other connections between it and reality when the chance comes. A piece of unreal learning has no hooks on it; it can't be attached to anything, it is of no use to the learner."
I suppose my challenge now will be to continue the knowledge journey with this clearer vision in mind. Of course, joining the knowledge journey is the best way to make sure it's happening. The lives, games, imaginations, conversations of my kids will all reveal what knowledge and understanding is really theirs. But I was glad to read a fuller picture of what I'm looking and going for!
Reason # 281 - Individualized Learning Schedule
Thought I'd share here some thoughts I recorded a year or so ago. Here they are:
Thoreau said, "The life which men praise and regard as successful is but one kind. Why should we exaggerate any one kind at the expense of others."
My non-reading 5 yr old just said, "Arthur is our silent King. Nunnies are his passion."
(Arthur is the new baby in our home. "Nunnies" is our family word for nursing.)
Can it be said that the language skill that is required of 5 yr olds in the schools is but one kind? I'm not suggesting that illiteracy is a good life-long condition. Nor am I suggesting that one can't both read and be creatively expressive. I AM saying this is yet another reason why I'm glad I homeschool: I can enjoy and encourage the strengths my children DO exhibit without fretting about the ones they haven't mastered, yet.
In school she would be "behind." In our home she can be the girl who makes us laugh with the outrageous things she says. She can be our family's poet laureate. And when she begins to read, and begins to spell correctly (she spells all day after her own fashion), she'll really have something to tell the world.
"The standards and benchmarks and skill sets the schools praise are but one kind. Why should we exaggerate any one kind at the expense of others?"
Friday, June 7, 2013
Reason #384: Prolonged Pretending
I remember pretending as a child. Do you? For me, that is huge because without these memories of what I was imagining, I'd hardly remember childhood at all. I remember things like the contents of my own dress-up box. There were chiffon curtains, dresses my mom had made for herself in high school, a bassinet skirt. I loved being a pioneer and a princess best. Interestingly, I was always a troubled princess. I was orphaned, or I was running away from beastly parents and my bike was my horse. Or I was being made to clean like Cinderella. In fact, I probably WAS being made to clean. But when I pretended I was being MADE to clean, the task didn't seem so bad.
In fact, I had games like that for boring tests at school. I lived in some future world where everything life-like was artificial and, though I was a child, it was my job to sit at a desk and do dull paperwork, just as I imagined adults do. Come to think of it, that isn't too far off reality either.
I remember lamenting to my mother that my friends weren't fun anymore because they had grown out of pretending. (I guess they weren't up for fastening a bassinet skirt around their waists, loading up a plastic toboggan with other dress-ups, snacks, and maybe a little brother, and trekking "west" across the soccer field to the promised land anymore.) Then my mother did something that makes the top 5 list of kind things she did for me (that I noticed and can remember) as a child: she surprised me by inviting a good friend over that had moved across town who hadn't yet forgotten how to pretend.
Somehow I've grown up into an adult whose pretender is mostly broken. Yes, I wear a princess dress to the Renaissance Faire, yes, I volunteered at a historical re-enactment site just to get the pioneer dress and house to hang out in, but it's not the same as it was when I was a child. I think I know, am too aware, that everyone else's pretender is broken too.
My girls have not yet grown into that awareness. (Maybe it's dawning on my oldest boy.... Sad.) Anyway, my older daughter, around Christmas time, was listening to The Nutcraker and swirling and whirling and so very gracefully performing for me. And I was an enchanted audience, I must say. Then she suddenly paused the performance to ask, "Mom, are you imagining what I'm imagining?" (I wasn't, but was happy to hear what it was she was imagining - that she was surrounded by a swirling corps de ballet - and add her vision to my enjoyment.)
Her question, however, reveals that her imaginings are almost so real that anyone could see them. Such power! Perhaps because I remember those days, perhaps because I lament, and even remember lamenting their loss, this power of imagination is something we reverence (as much as we can, but perhaps not as much as we should) around here. I can't help but feel, when I see my girls deep into worlds and scenarios of their own creation, that some very important work is going on. Work not to be interrupted.
Emerson, in his essay titled "The American Scholar," wrote, "Genius looks forward; the eyes of man are set in his forehead, not his hind head; man hopes; genius creates."
And, "Whatever talent may be, if the man create not, the pure efflux of the Deity is not his; cinders and smoke there may be, but not yet flame."
Finally, "The soul active sees absolute truth; and utters truth, or creates. In it's essence it is progression."
Though I don't fully understand the work of imagination, I get that it is real creation. Do I worry from time to time that in this subject or that, my kids may be "behind" their peers? Yes. But I'm in no hurry to fill their minds too soon with "facts" that I separate them from the genius that they already posses. That would be merely trading in a higher progression for a baser one. And though I can't say that I am giving my kids the most rigorous academic education going, I will say that I am giving them their childhood. And that feels like important work too.
In fact, I had games like that for boring tests at school. I lived in some future world where everything life-like was artificial and, though I was a child, it was my job to sit at a desk and do dull paperwork, just as I imagined adults do. Come to think of it, that isn't too far off reality either.
I remember lamenting to my mother that my friends weren't fun anymore because they had grown out of pretending. (I guess they weren't up for fastening a bassinet skirt around their waists, loading up a plastic toboggan with other dress-ups, snacks, and maybe a little brother, and trekking "west" across the soccer field to the promised land anymore.) Then my mother did something that makes the top 5 list of kind things she did for me (that I noticed and can remember) as a child: she surprised me by inviting a good friend over that had moved across town who hadn't yet forgotten how to pretend.
Somehow I've grown up into an adult whose pretender is mostly broken. Yes, I wear a princess dress to the Renaissance Faire, yes, I volunteered at a historical re-enactment site just to get the pioneer dress and house to hang out in, but it's not the same as it was when I was a child. I think I know, am too aware, that everyone else's pretender is broken too.
My girls have not yet grown into that awareness. (Maybe it's dawning on my oldest boy.... Sad.) Anyway, my older daughter, around Christmas time, was listening to The Nutcraker and swirling and whirling and so very gracefully performing for me. And I was an enchanted audience, I must say. Then she suddenly paused the performance to ask, "Mom, are you imagining what I'm imagining?" (I wasn't, but was happy to hear what it was she was imagining - that she was surrounded by a swirling corps de ballet - and add her vision to my enjoyment.)
Her question, however, reveals that her imaginings are almost so real that anyone could see them. Such power! Perhaps because I remember those days, perhaps because I lament, and even remember lamenting their loss, this power of imagination is something we reverence (as much as we can, but perhaps not as much as we should) around here. I can't help but feel, when I see my girls deep into worlds and scenarios of their own creation, that some very important work is going on. Work not to be interrupted.
Emerson, in his essay titled "The American Scholar," wrote, "Genius looks forward; the eyes of man are set in his forehead, not his hind head; man hopes; genius creates."
And, "Whatever talent may be, if the man create not, the pure efflux of the Deity is not his; cinders and smoke there may be, but not yet flame."
Finally, "The soul active sees absolute truth; and utters truth, or creates. In it's essence it is progression."
Though I don't fully understand the work of imagination, I get that it is real creation. Do I worry from time to time that in this subject or that, my kids may be "behind" their peers? Yes. But I'm in no hurry to fill their minds too soon with "facts" that I separate them from the genius that they already posses. That would be merely trading in a higher progression for a baser one. And though I can't say that I am giving my kids the most rigorous academic education going, I will say that I am giving them their childhood. And that feels like important work too.
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Reason # 1 - SOCIALIZATION!
What!?! Did you read that right? So many view the issue of socialization as THE reason NOT to homeschool.
Whether you believe the socialization concern is a myth, as this article suggests (quoted here for your convenience: ...tests typically evaluate four areas: cooperation, assertiveness, empathy, and self-control. Researchers found that homeschooled children score higher on socialization tests than children attending public or private schools. A technical paper summarizing these studies was published in the technical journal, "Home School Researcher," in 2006 by Richard G. Medlin, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology at Stetson University.) or you think there is something to the statement, "Homeschooled kids are weird and annoying," (that article here), it IS a topic that comes up in most pro and most con homeschooling discussions.
When that concern arises in conversations I'm a part of, I always want to respond with, "Well, how nice for you that in your public school experience, everyone got along and no one felt awkward or like an outsider." However, I usually fear my smug sarcasm will give offense, and so generally state more blandly that, no matter the school system, odd-ball parents produce odd-ball offspring. It seems everyone can agree to that. Maybe they are looking at MY kids and thinking, "Amen!"
But I digress. In my last post I mentioned moms from two clubs, our Culture Club and Science Club. I thought I'd put the socialization question - at least as measured by opportunity - to rest by sharing just where in the process of homeschooling, my kids get all those chances for peer interaction. (I've edited this from a post on my local yahoo homeschooling group.)
When we began our homeschooling journey, like many, I joined a yahoo group where I hoped to find activities to learn and interact with other homeschoolers. Much to my dismay, so many of the things going on on that list were full. I felt I'd come to the table too late. I felt like the kid at recess again, not chosen to play because the game was "full."
So... I started some myself. (And most of them are now "full." I've come to understand full doesn't mean "too cool for more," but simply "no room physically for more.") Anyway, I hope this inspires you to begin your own and enjoy many of the wonderful educational opportunities we do! It takes surprisingly little ambition or organization, lest you fear you aren't up to the task. Trust me: if I can do it, anyone can!
What we do/have done:
Homeschoolers art class - we found an art teacher who works in the public schools and follows that sort of curriculum, as well as offered instruction from her home. She was delighted to learn she could teach during school hours and organized a class just for us homeschoolers!
Science Club - we started this for my son for something to do with boys his age. I'm not very science minded, so we found a tutor which each family pays $5/class to teach/design lessons/content/run experiments/etc. (We found our first tutor on a website, and the next by sending a job description to applicable clubs at the local university.)
Biography Club - We meet once a month at the library at 10:30 to discuss biographical figures. I started this for my daughter who's favorite part of history is dressing up like the women we'd learn about - now she will have a context to share what she has learned, and so often I find, when you provide a context for why it matters, your learning is enhanced.
Culture Club - my family's all time favorite! I started this because a similar club where we'd moved from that studied the countries of the world was full. Our club here meets once a month to share with club members about the culture of our choice. (We've done countries, but we've also done ancient civilizations, and fun kid choices like Ninjas and Vikings. My kids love this because we get to imagine, dress-up, play, try new food, party with friends. I love it because it is reading, writing, public speaking, history, geography, and social studies all rolled into one very fun adventure.)
Homeschool Choir - Hard to beat getting to perform classics like Les Mis and Fiddler on the Roof AND voice training for so little cost! An amazing local homeschooling mom runs this choir from fall to Christmas.
Fancy Nancy - A dear friend (whom we met through Culture Club) started this for her girl. It's a club based on the Fancy Nancy books. They read, write, and go on "Fancy" field trips.
Rock Club - this is another one I didn't start, nor could I have. It's our local Rock and Gem Club run by amazing rock hounds. They meet once a month at the library to talk rocks. They also organize rock hounding trips. The folks there are awesome mentor-types and are excited about the young kids that are taking up their passion.
Field Trip Co-op - this resides on another yahoo group. We love it! We've been to an historical re-enactment venue, an apple orchard, a fish hatchery, and a ballet rehearsal, to mention only those we could make!
Hiking Club - this was one we participated in before we moved and it was led by a mom who was familiar with local hikes. We met twice a month when the weather was warm and hiked all over. I'd start one here, but I don't know where to go.
We haven't participated in, but know of a homeschool martial arts class and a homeschool gymnastics class, and I've heard great things.
And there is probably a lot I'm leaving out. Not to mention what there WILL be whenever anyone wants to take the reigns and run with an idea! I'm sure as my own kids tastes and interests change, I'll come up with other ideas and throw them out to the list. Leave a comment to share what you have found or created as fun and engaging learning and SOCIALIZATION opportunities for your kids! If you build it, they will come! :)
Our "World Block Party," and how to organize your own
Our family loves studying other cultures, times, and people. This past Earth Day I wanted to give my own kids the "big picture" of those aspects of the world right now. So I organized a "World Block Party."
Claiming I organized it all by my distracted little self is quite a stretch. In reality, I pulled moms from our Culture Club and Science Club to help out. Really, they MADE the event.
Anyway, here is what I wrote about it, after the fact, hoping to make the paper. (It didn't... but my blog is just as good, right!?)
Claiming I organized it all by my distracted little self is quite a stretch. In reality, I pulled moms from our Culture Club and Science Club to help out. Really, they MADE the event.
Anyway, here is what I wrote about it, after the fact, hoping to make the paper. (It didn't... but my blog is just as good, right!?)
"Nearly 150 people came together for the World Block Party held at the Whittier Center on Monday at 11am. The event, held on Earth Day, featured games and activities highlighting the demographics of the world's population.
Steffanie Casperson, event organizer, said, "Our family enjoys learning about languages, cultures, and countries all year round. Earth Day seemed like a fun occasion to put all our learning together into a giant snap shot of sorts and see what the world is like, right now."
Steffanie Casperson, event organizer, said, "Our family enjoys learning about languages, cultures, and countries all year round. Earth Day seemed like a fun occasion to put all our learning together into a giant snap shot of sorts and see what the world is like, right now."
The World Block Party activities included international music, dancing, games, and a reenactment of the word's population as if it were a village of 100 people. Mollie Anderson of Millville checked her children out of school to attend. "I felt like we learned so much. Everyone - moms, older kids, younger kids. I felt it was a great way to enhance what they learn about in school."
Though all members of the public were invited, due to the event's scheduling, most school-aged children in attendance were homeschooled.
The World Block Party was sponsored by Utah Online School, which supports homeschooling families by providing public school materials and support, free of charge. Mindee Taylor, teacher of the students in Cache Valley enrolled in Utah Online School said, " I was excited to be a part of such a neat opportunity! It was a wonderful activity for kids to learn more about the world around them. " This was UOS's 9th event for local students this year. Others have included performances at the Eccles Theater, parties at the Fun Park, and touring local businesses like Macey's and Texas Roadhouse Grill.
"We were grateful to UOS for being willing to sponsor this event," Casperson said. "I've been wanting to do something like this for years, but the organizational undertaking was huge. Once we had UOS step in to sponsor, it was so easy to find other moms who wanted to help the kids learn about the world in such a physical, hands-on, and memorable way. Lots of people helped, lots came, and I think everyone had fun!""
If you missed OUR World Block Party, no sense suffering any regret! Just host your own. You will need:
10 amazing moms to help, a large venue (gymnasium or somewhere contained but with lots of space) 100 participants holding what we called "Field books" which guided them through our "fields" - education level, language, religion, etc., and any other bonuses you can add in, such as balloon coloring, international music and dancing, etc.
The idea for this event came from a book titled, "If the World Were a Village" which can be purchased here. We chose from the info there which we wanted to "act out," updated the numbers from when the book was published from info we found online, and created the books.
The best way for you to visualize how we "acted out" this village is probably just to read the script I used to move our 100 villagers through the activity. And it seems the best way to share said script with you, for you to use, is to throw it up right here, on my blog! So here you go!
Anyway, we followed this activity (it took about 30 minutes) with other games to round out the event so it could be fun for all. We had blue balloons to color the continents of the world on. There was a money game where participants moved gold "coins" around on a table to guess the distribution of the world's wealth. On the walls were 10 flags to guess which countries they were and order them in total population of largest down. Or one could walk around and count how many cell phones, computers and cars were posted, representing how many our village of 100 people would have. We also played a slide show showing the possessions of people around the world, had international music playing, and passed out cookies.
As you might imagine, it was not a small undertaking, but giving ALL the help I got, not only was it not so bad, but so much more amazing than anything I might have been able to pull off on my own. Another great reason to homeschool: when there is fun and dynamic learning to be done, you'll never be without great ideas and help to make it happen.
The World Village Game - script
The World Village Game
The world has about 7 billion people living on it right now. That's this number right here. Let's count the zeroes together.7,000,000,000. (Show the number) Wow! 9 zeroes! So in our village of 100 each person is really 70 million people. That is this number right here. (remove 2 zeroes)
Okay! Who is ready to be 70 million people? (get name and volunteer)
If our village today has 100 people, it was a long time ago that the pretend world village had just 1 person. It would have been all the way back at the time of King David we read about in the Bible, about 1000 BCE. (We had a timeline on the wall, made with painting tape, and pictures of the events/peoples/times we mentioned.)
This 70 million people that ______ represents lived and had families and the village grew. So we need more volunteers. As you join our world village, you will be handed a book of papers of what your 70 million people are like, so hang onto it and get ready to follow directions. We'll start using our books right after we have our 100 villagers.
It took our village 500 years to add one more person! So now it's 500 BCE at the time of Siddhartha Gautama, or Buddha.
500 years later, at the time of Jesus, we're up to 3 villagers! This is going to take forever!
Wait! We add two people next! 1000 years after Jesus at the time gunpowder was invented in China!
And now we need 3 more villagers 500 years later - putting us at the time of the Aztec Empire. So our village now has 8 people!
Next on our timeline is a beautiful building in India. It's called Taj Mahal. It was finished in 1650, and our imaginary village then would have 10 people.
Now we add 7 people all at once taking us to the time of the French conqueror, Napoleon. That's the year 1800.
Only 100 years later our village jumps from 17 to 32 people - we add 15 villagers for the time when the Wright Brothers figured out air flight!
We still need almost 70 more villagers. We'll add 4 in 50 years. In the early 1950’s was when Dr. Seuss wrote Horton Hears a Who. And now in 1980, when Mt. St Helens errupted, and around the time many of your parents were born, we're almost double that! We need 28 more villagers bringing us to 64.
Finally, we're going to jump forward just 33 years and add our last 36 villagers and we are ready to learn about the people of the earth, right now!
Remember, each of our 100 villagers is 70 million people! Where do they all live!? Well, let's find out.
Everyone look at the book you were handed. On the very front is a paper with a number 1 on it. See what color of paper your number 1 is on and go stand by the big colored paper an adult is holding up that matches your paper. In other words, if you have a light green 1, go stand by the light green 1. If you have a red 1, stand by the red 1.
This is about where the villagers are from. Look down at your feet. (on the floor we had mapped out the world, again in painters tape) Do you see what continent you are on? Lets have everyone who doesn't have a light green number 1 sit down right where you are. I have 61 Asians standing. 61 of our villagers are from Asia. How do you fit? Asia is a little crowded. Thanks Asian villagers, please sit down now.
And let's have the Africans stand up. That's all my villagers with a pink number 1. There are 14 people from Africa in our village!
Now let's have the villagers with a gold number 1 stand up. (Africans, sit down). We have 11 Europeans in our village.
Next we come to Latin and S. America. That's my dark green's. 8 villagers are from Latin and S. America.
In North America, where all of us really live, there are only 5 villagers! Let's have my blues stand.
Last, way out in Australia and the islands around it we have one villager, red.
Okay, now everyone on your feet and turn your number one to the back and look at the next paper with a number 2. Find the adult that is holding up a number 2 that matches your number 2 and go stand by them.
These are the languages spoken in our village. If you knew 8 languages you would still only be able to communicate with about HALF of the people in our village! Let's have the reds stand up. These are our 15 Mandarin Chinese speakers. Blues - these are our 9 English speakers. 8 dark greens - these speak Hindi - a language spoken in India. 7 with a cream number 2 - these speak Spanish. Gold - 4 Arabic speaking villagers. Light Green - 3 Russians. Purple - 3 Portugese speakers from Portugal and Brazil. And 3 orange - these are from Bangladesh, they speak Bengali! Now imagine you speak all these 8 languages: Mandarin, English, Hindi, Spanish, Arabic, Russian, Portugese, and Bengali. Let's have my white number 2's stand. These 48 villagers would be all the villagers you STILL wouldn't be able to communicate with! They speak French, Italian, German, Swahili and all the other languages in the world!
Let's move on to your number 3. We'll find out what all the villagers DO! Find your number 3 that matches in color. One group is much bigger than another. My big group, the light greens, are the adults in the village. There are 74. The smaller group are the smaller folks - the kids! There are only 26 kids in the village!
Now everyone sit down where you are with your group, kids with kids, adults with adults, and we'll find out what the adults do for work- though 4 don't have a job. If you have a red number 3, stand. These 28 adults work in agriculture - they are farmers, they raise animals, jobs like that. Now let's have my blue 3's stand. These 14 adults work in industry - they make things. Like cars, or cell phones, or can openers. Or buildings or roads, or lay the wire for electricity. Last let's have my green 3's stand. These 28 adults work in services. They sell things, or they design websites, or cut your hair - jobs like that.
Now everyone, find your 4 and stand with your matching color. This BIG group reads. There are 86 villagers who can read. But 14 don't. Now everyone sit. I have 7 red 4's. If your 4 is in red, will you stand. These 7 villagers are the number who have a secondary education - the number who have gone to college or a trade school beyond their basic education. And we have one blue 4. This villager is our only villager with a college degree.
Now let's find out about the beliefs of our villagers. Everyone find your 5 and stand with your matching color. First, let's have the light greens stand. These 33 villagers are Christian. Now our orange 5's. The village has 20 people who believe in the religion Islam. Light Purple- 13 people in our village are Hindus. Cream - 6 villagers are Buddhists. Dark Green - the village has 12 people who aren't really religious. Pink - 2 villagers don't believe in God at all or are Atheists. And my last 14 reds. 14 villagers belong to other faiths we haven't mentioned.
We're almost to the end. 2 more to go! Now find your number 6 color and group. These groups are about food. My smallest group has 16 people (the florescent greens) - they sometimes get enough to eat, but sometimes they don't. My 24 blues do get enough to eat. And the biggest group - the golds - these are our 60 villagers that are always hungry.
Finally to 7. Stand with your color. This big group of light greens, these are the 78 villagers who have electricity, though many only use it when it's dark outside. That means there are 22 villagers who don't have electricity, those are my pinks.
Of course, only back a few hundred years to the time of Napoleon none of the villagers then would have had electricity. But there were fewer villagers then than all the villagers without electricity now! (Who is ready to be done representing 70 million people! It's a big job, but you did great!) The world and it's people have come a long way! It's fun to think about people all around the world and what kinds of lives they live. We are blessed to live where we are! And it's fun to think about how fast things have changed for the world village since even your parents have been alive. Think of how different the world village will be when you are telling your kids about it!
Thanks for playing this game with us!
Filling the Holidays with Family Values and Traditions
I love teaching my family with fun and engaging traditions. In a recent post I mentioned performing traditions tied into the holidays. I thought I'd share here a few more traditions of of ours.
Beginning with Halloween, we have one evening before Oct 31 where we dress up as our favorite religious hero and play, "Guess who I am." The Monday just before Oct 31 we carve our pumpkins, turn off the lights, and while looking at the glow of the candle inside recite the scripture from the bible about being the light of the world. And after trick-or-treating, the kids leave a sacrifice of a portion of their candy for the Great Pumpkin who brings gifts in exchange.
They haven't, but maybe the Pilgrims will one day bring gifts for Thanksgiving.... But for Thanksgiving we perform an original family play (I think I value dressing up and performing!) complete with a script, sets, and lots of bows at the end. And we try to spend the month of Nov in service to the community.
For Christmas, my husband and I wanted to de-emphasize Santa, so the "haul" is modest (our gift receiving is spread out over the year, as you will see). Santa brings a gift. But the wise men do too, each bringing one a gift for vocation/education, family, and religious.
New Years Eve we stay up late reading our family journal from the year just passing and laugh about the crazy things we did and marvel at the time flying by. Then we have a sleep-over under the Christmas tree. (Could the Chinese Zodiac animal bring another gift on Chinese New Year?...)
For Valentines, I organize a family dance. I miss the idea that dances aren't just for adolescents. So my kids know The Electric Slide, the Chicken Dance, the Bunny Hop, the Limbo, and Cotton-Eyed Joe. Oh, and Cupid brings a gift.
So do the Leprechauns And we have a treasure hunt because who doesn't love a good treasure hunt? The kids prepare their own impromptu Irish themed skit while I set it up. And we eat Irish food, though I don't know that we have any Irish in us....
We have an Easter Bunny that hides eggs Saturday morning. So on Easter Sunday I can give the kids gifts of a religious nature, and we do a religious egg hunt. This year, I had each of the kids chose 3 eggs to fill with something that could symbolize Jesus. After we found the eggs and opened them, the kids explained why they had chosen that symbol. It was fascinating to see the depth and variety of their understanding.
We're in search of good Solstice traditions because I think the symbolism of the sun in relation to the earth, and the cycle of seasons has great lessons for my kids. We've tried things with the fire pit, and disco dancing with glow-in-the-dark gear. Fun.... Still thinking. (If you have any ideas, leave a comment below.)
Earth Day, like all other holidays, has it's own agenda, value system, and aim. I'm less interested in that as I am in what I'd like to use Earth Day to teach my kids. (When we want to learn about the rest of that, we'll participate in what is already offered in the community.) This past year, I wanted my kids to learn about the people of Earth on Earth Day. Where do they live? How common is our way of life on Earth now? We study different cultures and history all year. I wanted Earth Day to be the big picture right now. (To that end, I organized - with a lot of help - an Earth Day Block Party. I hope it was fun and memorable to everyone who came - yes, fun is one of our family's main values.)
Anyway, I hope your family finds many reasons to celebrate! I love homeschooling because doing the things that strengthen families - having meaningful traditions and having fun together - seem such a part of life!
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