Preparing Your Kids for Successful Adulting

Years and years ago, when I was single, I took a class on marriage and dating. As a glaring example of my pragmatism going way back, I ended up dropping the class for its heavy focus on dating. "Why," I reasoned, "would I fill my head with good info on dating when I don't even have a boyfriend?" Considering the other participants in the class were wet-behind-the ears college freshman who were practically already engaged, this was probably the right call for my 23 year old self. I didn't feel like the "target audience."

But before I stopped going, I did make one note that made it into my binder of life-study notes, and I just came across it today. It's a list of the characteristics of both husbands and wives compiled from a study on successful marriages. (That's all the info I have. Sorry. No sources.)

So here's the list:

Connection to a higher power (faith). Love and concern. Emotional maturity. Industry and initiative. Economic maturity. Health/heredity. Character and integrity. Patience/tolerance. Handyman/homemaking. Child-rearing abilities. Intellectual maturity. Ability to give/receive affection. 

When we consider that, for economic reasons alone, it benefits both males and females to have successful marriages, and that if done right they will be married for the majority of their adult lives, it WOULD seem wise to incorporate BUILDING these skills into any education that actually IS aiming to prepare children and youth to transition into successful adults.

So reviewing the list, I'm struck by how little may actually be covered in a traditional k-12 education. And we are tempted to interject, "Well of course not! Parents, families, the HOME still do have some responsibility to prepare kids. That's where they can and hopefully do see these principles lived anyway!" 

I'm not arguing that's NOT true. I DON'T think it's fair to expect the schools to do everything. And yet, does society have that unconscious expectation anyway? When the public school mindset takes our youth out of the home so consistently with academics, extra curricular activities, and socialization, DO they have the TIME and OPPORTUNITY to BUILD child-rearing abilities (as one example)? If they are not around to help make dinner, let alone eat it, when ARE they gaining homemaking skills (as another)? 

I've said before, "LIFE is school" (that learning that prepares you for the future). And I confess sometimes that legitimately feels like a cop-out. (Shhhh! Don't tell anyone!) But shopping, cleaning the bathrooms, making breakfast, hauling rock in the garden, playing with siblings, visiting cousins, scripture study, helping mom on a business venture, giving feedback on where to hang pictures, listening to another podcast on exercise with dad, enduring a political discussion with your crazy uncles ... ALL that COUNTS as "school"?

Well, if the list above is anything worth caring about, yes! If the point of school is to prepare a child to become a successful adult, yes! If an income and college degree is not the only value an adult brings to relationships and the world around him/her, YES!

Something tells me this list is worth taking out of my dusty binder and putting it somewhere where it can receive a little more intention from me as I homeschool and parent. I'm comforted I'm moving in the right direction. I needed the reminder the direction IS right, and to keep moving!