I can't believe how wildly popular my sugar cookie recipe is. I mean, I SHOULD believe it, because sugar cookies are awesome in general. And the ones on my blog are TO DIE FOR. But if you've hit my blog hoping to find MORE great recipes, you are just in time!
My last post was about building our muscles so we can move from having to think of all the how-to's to living in automated habit, or mastery, mode. Of course, there aren't "biking muscles," or "ballet muscles," or "homeschooling muscles." My point was that every time we try something new, including homeschooling, it will feel a little awkward at first, like the pain of working a new muscle.
UNLESS, that is, we've worked out our "Trying-Something-New Muscles!" Of all the muscle groups, getting a regular work-out of these may be the most beneficial in life. AND we don't need to do anything as drastic as pull our kids from public school to get those muscles working. We can begin with trying new food.
So here you go! This is a great punch recipe. Cucumber Punch is my go-to entertaining punch in the hot summer months, so jump in (not literally) and enjoy it right away. I love serving it when I entertain because it gives guests something to talk and marvel about. In all of my sharing, I think I've only had one person not like it - my brother Matt, but he doesn't like anything, so don't let his hesitation hold you back!
Cucumber Punch
6 cucumbers, peeled and sliced (I like to slice them about as thin as a stack of 3 or 4 quarters)
1 can of frozen limeade (partially thawed)
3 2 liter bottles of 7-Up
1 large bag of deli or "Sonic" or pellet ice (this is the hardest ingredient to come by, I've found, on the go) Sonic, the drive through fast food joint, does sell it, but some employees aren't aware of that fact and they don't sell it during certain busier hours. I've had better luck hitting my grocery stores and asking the people in the meat department or deli if I can buy a bag of the ice they put in the display cases. Often, they don't know what to charge, and each store handles THAT challenge a little differently, but be persistent and you can usually walk away with a bag of the ice you want. See, you didn't think this punch would be as easy as drinking something new did you!?
So! Mix it up in a punch bowl, allowing about 30 minutes for the cucumber flavor to absorb into the punch. When it comes to mixing, I'd begin by adding 1 bottle of 7-Up, all of the cucumbers, and 1/3 of the limeade and ice, adding more of both if you have room in the bowl. You can keep adding limeade, 7-up and ice as the punch is attacked, and assuming the cucumbers don't disappear. (They may, as they are super tasty after sitting in the punch for a while.)
Give it a whirl and let me know what you think! And do share in the comments below any recipes you enjoy that similarly strengthen our trying-something-new muscles!
Monday, May 26, 2014
Biking, Ballet, and Homeschooling Muscles
On my way to ballet class, I was listening to my daughter and her friend discuss their newly acquired skill: bike riding. They talked about it seeming really difficult at first. It seemed to them that they needed to remember almost more than they could hold in their minds at once. They were worried about balancing, they needed to continue to pedal fast enough to stay up, AND they needed to steer.
When you teach children to ride a bike, you see how their focus shifts from one skill to the other. You want to tell them that someday they will do these things almost by instinct. And sometimes you do tell them that. My daughter struggled to believe this could be so - that riding a bike could seem as easy as getting dressed, something that takes no consideration of the mechanics involved, anymore.
My daughter and her friend agreed that now they have the hang of it, it seems easy, and a lot more fun. I told them this was like ballet. At first, it seems impossible to hold in one's mind the steps, plus all the how-to's like pulling up your stomach, lifting your chin, and keeping your knees straight and toes pointed. But with practice, the how-to's become habit and your mind is free to master harder and harder steps. And so while it is harder, it also becomes so much more fun. They liked this comparison. I think they felt a bit excited by the idea that dancing could feel as free as bike riding.
But, for what else is this principle true? Well, you've probably already guessed from this post's title, AND from the fact that I'm including this experience on a homeschool blog that the same is true of homeschooling. Hooray!
At first, homeschooling seems like adding to the great juggling act of motherhood - adding educational needs to the balls you are already keeping in the air: a clean home, a stocked fridge, healthy meals, clean laundry, energy to be emotionally available, etc. etc. etc. It can feel like there really is too much to do and do any of it well. BUT, after a little practice, you find the groove. You find what works for you and your kids, and you and your kids together.
If you aren't to a moment of free elation yet, it will come. And then it will pass as you try the next step - try riding without holding on to the handle bars. But don't give up. The muscle memory for biking, for ballet, and for homeschooling takes time to build. But day by day you are building it. And please share on this blog that first excited moment when you let go and RIDE!
When you teach children to ride a bike, you see how their focus shifts from one skill to the other. You want to tell them that someday they will do these things almost by instinct. And sometimes you do tell them that. My daughter struggled to believe this could be so - that riding a bike could seem as easy as getting dressed, something that takes no consideration of the mechanics involved, anymore.
My daughter and her friend agreed that now they have the hang of it, it seems easy, and a lot more fun. I told them this was like ballet. At first, it seems impossible to hold in one's mind the steps, plus all the how-to's like pulling up your stomach, lifting your chin, and keeping your knees straight and toes pointed. But with practice, the how-to's become habit and your mind is free to master harder and harder steps. And so while it is harder, it also becomes so much more fun. They liked this comparison. I think they felt a bit excited by the idea that dancing could feel as free as bike riding.
But, for what else is this principle true? Well, you've probably already guessed from this post's title, AND from the fact that I'm including this experience on a homeschool blog that the same is true of homeschooling. Hooray!
At first, homeschooling seems like adding to the great juggling act of motherhood - adding educational needs to the balls you are already keeping in the air: a clean home, a stocked fridge, healthy meals, clean laundry, energy to be emotionally available, etc. etc. etc. It can feel like there really is too much to do and do any of it well. BUT, after a little practice, you find the groove. You find what works for you and your kids, and you and your kids together.
If you aren't to a moment of free elation yet, it will come. And then it will pass as you try the next step - try riding without holding on to the handle bars. But don't give up. The muscle memory for biking, for ballet, and for homeschooling takes time to build. But day by day you are building it. And please share on this blog that first excited moment when you let go and RIDE!
Thursday, May 22, 2014
Homeschooling Anthem for Your In-laws
Since your 3 year old is probably singing this anyway...
Friends at my house the other day were chatting about a theme that comes up a lot: the judgement of in-laws. For the record, my family reacted a lot more negatively to our homeschooling announcement than my in-laws. And now we feel great support from both sides. But I sympathize with moms who feel constantly judged or second-guessed for their decision to homeschool. So if, and when, your in-laws quiz your kids, or brag about the grades of their public schooled grandkids, or just don't give you the praise you deserve for the amazing job you are doing raising lovely kids, you can wail this song right along with ALL the kids in America. Only you and I will know what you're wailing about. ;-)
Don't let them in, don't let them see,
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know....
Well now they know!
Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back it back anymore!
Let it go, let it go,
Turn away and slam the door.
I don't care what they're going to say,
Let (our learning go) on
Their fears never bothered me anyway!
It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all!
It's time to see what I can do,
To test the limits and break through.
No right, no wrong, no (agendas) for me
I'm FREE!
We ARE free, to raise our children how we feel is best for their development! As we let go of the fears of those around us, we will break through the limits of arbitrary agendas set for us and for our families. And, very likely, our children will be the ones to impress EVERYONE with their awesome powers if we let them!
Friends at my house the other day were chatting about a theme that comes up a lot: the judgement of in-laws. For the record, my family reacted a lot more negatively to our homeschooling announcement than my in-laws. And now we feel great support from both sides. But I sympathize with moms who feel constantly judged or second-guessed for their decision to homeschool. So if, and when, your in-laws quiz your kids, or brag about the grades of their public schooled grandkids, or just don't give you the praise you deserve for the amazing job you are doing raising lovely kids, you can wail this song right along with ALL the kids in America. Only you and I will know what you're wailing about. ;-)
Don't let them in, don't let them see,
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know....
Well now they know!
Let it go, let it go
Can't hold it back it back anymore!
Let it go, let it go,
Turn away and slam the door.
I don't care what they're going to say,
Let (our learning go) on
Their fears never bothered me anyway!
It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all!
It's time to see what I can do,
To test the limits and break through.
No right, no wrong, no (agendas) for me
I'm FREE!
We ARE free, to raise our children how we feel is best for their development! As we let go of the fears of those around us, we will break through the limits of arbitrary agendas set for us and for our families. And, very likely, our children will be the ones to impress EVERYONE with their awesome powers if we let them!
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Your Beginning Homeschooling Plan in 4 Easy Steps
Like me, many parents make the decision to homeschool before their kids are of school age. This is a great time to begin. It's strength - that your child has nothing to compare learning at home to - is also it's drawback. YOU have nothing to compare what you are doing with either.
When I was in that boat, I found myself asking a lot of other homeschoolers what THEY were doing. I wondered, "Were we doing it right?" "Was there a better way?" and "How will I even know if I am doing it wrong." I suppose I still don't know if I am doing it wrong. My children have yet to venture out into the world to see if they can be of service to society, and discover what their service and skill set is worth.
Still, as I'm asked from time to time to "weigh in" on what a family about embark on the journey might do, here are some "guidelines" I put together the other night: . 1 - Don't interrupt the real "work" your child is up to playing or imagining without your help. I'm not fully aware of all the learning that occurs when children play and imagine. I can only observe that doing so totally engrosses them. That leads me to believe it is serving an important purpose in their development, about which their own minds probably grasp on a much deeper level than my outside "learning agenda."
When you are asked to step in (often not so verbally distinct, but when your kid becomes interested in your interaction, or becomes needy): 2 - Engage him in what he is interested in. When you are 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 or 6 there is an entire world of information out there to make a part of yourself by learning and mastering. The last thing you want a child to take away from his or her learning experience is that the things he or she is interested in are of no value, and that the things that "should" be learned are of no interest at all.
3 - Keep learning to attention-span chunks - why on earth we think enrolling 3 and 4 year olds in school all day will increase their knowledge is beyond me! The mind has REAL developmental limits to what it can absorb. In fact, down time is critical TO absorption. So try being done learning or discovering before your child's mind shuts off. Keep him or her anxious for the next time you get to discover together!
Finally, 4 - Repeat as often as you and your child are having fun! If you can only pleasantly discover together once a day, begin there. Don't do as I did - get angry that some things aren't sticking, and make the entire encounter miserable for you and your child. If learning is something to be endured - a sort of torture - why NOT outsource? Then, at least, your relationship with your child can be preserved!
Now you may feel that these 4 pointers are completely obvious or intuitive. If so, congratulations! You are a parent more in tune with your child and the process of real learning than with public opinion or outside agendas. But some of us need the reminder that letting go of anxious time management or ambitious academic curricula will be okay. Yes, you can let go and just have fun. And if it helps, remind yourself that if you and your child, following the approach described above, become ornery or disengaged, you may simply return to a more intense, structured approach. There are no guidelines, truly, beyond discovering what works, and doing that, with your children's best interest in mind.
When I was in that boat, I found myself asking a lot of other homeschoolers what THEY were doing. I wondered, "Were we doing it right?" "Was there a better way?" and "How will I even know if I am doing it wrong." I suppose I still don't know if I am doing it wrong. My children have yet to venture out into the world to see if they can be of service to society, and discover what their service and skill set is worth.
Still, as I'm asked from time to time to "weigh in" on what a family about embark on the journey might do, here are some "guidelines" I put together the other night: . 1 - Don't interrupt the real "work" your child is up to playing or imagining without your help. I'm not fully aware of all the learning that occurs when children play and imagine. I can only observe that doing so totally engrosses them. That leads me to believe it is serving an important purpose in their development, about which their own minds probably grasp on a much deeper level than my outside "learning agenda."
When you are asked to step in (often not so verbally distinct, but when your kid becomes interested in your interaction, or becomes needy): 2 - Engage him in what he is interested in. When you are 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 or 6 there is an entire world of information out there to make a part of yourself by learning and mastering. The last thing you want a child to take away from his or her learning experience is that the things he or she is interested in are of no value, and that the things that "should" be learned are of no interest at all.
3 - Keep learning to attention-span chunks - why on earth we think enrolling 3 and 4 year olds in school all day will increase their knowledge is beyond me! The mind has REAL developmental limits to what it can absorb. In fact, down time is critical TO absorption. So try being done learning or discovering before your child's mind shuts off. Keep him or her anxious for the next time you get to discover together!
Finally, 4 - Repeat as often as you and your child are having fun! If you can only pleasantly discover together once a day, begin there. Don't do as I did - get angry that some things aren't sticking, and make the entire encounter miserable for you and your child. If learning is something to be endured - a sort of torture - why NOT outsource? Then, at least, your relationship with your child can be preserved!
Now you may feel that these 4 pointers are completely obvious or intuitive. If so, congratulations! You are a parent more in tune with your child and the process of real learning than with public opinion or outside agendas. But some of us need the reminder that letting go of anxious time management or ambitious academic curricula will be okay. Yes, you can let go and just have fun. And if it helps, remind yourself that if you and your child, following the approach described above, become ornery or disengaged, you may simply return to a more intense, structured approach. There are no guidelines, truly, beyond discovering what works, and doing that, with your children's best interest in mind.
Friday, May 9, 2014
What Ballet Taught Me About Finding Balance
Have you ever felt that there are simply not enough hours in the day to do all that needs to be done? Oh, am I feeling it now! I woke up earlier than the kids the other morning and had several thoughts: I need to exercise; I have a pile of laundry on my floor (moved from my bed last night) that needs folding; I'd like to blog. And those were just the demands of the few moments I had before kids got up and I was needed elsewhere in the house. How in the world does one balance it all - keeping life going by cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry, schooling, and parenting, with all the extras like lessons, sports, me-time, working out, journaling, etc. etc. etc.?!?
My husband always laughs when I respond to any question with the statement, "That's a good question." He has come to know in our 13 years together, that phrase is code for "I don't know." And honestly, I don't know how to keep life in perfect balance all the time.
That bothered me for a while. And then, once again, as has happened so often in my life, I plumbed my ballet experiences and found principles that rang true and applied beyond the stage or dance studio.
I began with thinking about what balance meant to me as a dancer. The complexity of the idea related so well to finding balance in my life. After all, a dancer is not an infant merely trying to stand erect. A mother (or father) finding balance is more complex than a six year old balancing work and play. Dancers balance in all sorts of crazy positions - on their toes with one leg behind them, arms who knows where, and not even looking strait ahead. The position of the arms and legs are like the complexities of multiple people's schedules and a host of worthy priorities.
First lesson: When I feel out of balance, I can see myself as a dancer attempting to strike some seemingly-impossible pose. What we all have to juggle on a daily basis takes strength and practice! But the good news is, with strength and practice, it gets easier. And likely, for us and for the dancer, as we master one level of complexity, another will be added.
Next, I remembered those glorious moments of perfect balance while I was dancing. I felt suspended. Somewhere in the middle of holding my leg up and arms out while on the tiniest toe platform, everything found it's place and the moment of balance FELT effortless. After all, it's much easier to stand if you aren't falling, right? Remembering this about balance helped a lot too.
In life, my expectation of balance was that when if finally did become easier that it would BE effortless. I think that is a flawed expectation. If life is like ballet (and if life can be like football in so many movies, it can certainly be like ballet too!) then perfect balance happens after you work like crazy and even with a bit of luck, and then the dance moves on. It is a moment.
Could it be that finding balance in life also means balancing those moments of control, and controlling the moments of falling? I always felt this was so in ballet. We use, rather than resist, the forces around us as we dance. The best way to get up on your leg is to first let gravity take your weight all the way down. Perhaps a balanced life is not a life always lived in perfect balance, but a life full of perfectly balanced moments divided by the falls, lunges and leaps that make those moments of stillness, of perfect balance, so marvelous to be in and magical to behold.
So I don't know how to balance life perfectly. That is why I'm still asking how it is done, and feeling it's a GREAT question. I'm hoping that a life lived with purpose and intention in ALL the moments will be as breathtakingly beautiful as a full ballet and not just a pretty snap-shot.
My husband always laughs when I respond to any question with the statement, "That's a good question." He has come to know in our 13 years together, that phrase is code for "I don't know." And honestly, I don't know how to keep life in perfect balance all the time.
That bothered me for a while. And then, once again, as has happened so often in my life, I plumbed my ballet experiences and found principles that rang true and applied beyond the stage or dance studio.
I began with thinking about what balance meant to me as a dancer. The complexity of the idea related so well to finding balance in my life. After all, a dancer is not an infant merely trying to stand erect. A mother (or father) finding balance is more complex than a six year old balancing work and play. Dancers balance in all sorts of crazy positions - on their toes with one leg behind them, arms who knows where, and not even looking strait ahead. The position of the arms and legs are like the complexities of multiple people's schedules and a host of worthy priorities.
First lesson: When I feel out of balance, I can see myself as a dancer attempting to strike some seemingly-impossible pose. What we all have to juggle on a daily basis takes strength and practice! But the good news is, with strength and practice, it gets easier. And likely, for us and for the dancer, as we master one level of complexity, another will be added.
Next, I remembered those glorious moments of perfect balance while I was dancing. I felt suspended. Somewhere in the middle of holding my leg up and arms out while on the tiniest toe platform, everything found it's place and the moment of balance FELT effortless. After all, it's much easier to stand if you aren't falling, right? Remembering this about balance helped a lot too.
In life, my expectation of balance was that when if finally did become easier that it would BE effortless. I think that is a flawed expectation. If life is like ballet (and if life can be like football in so many movies, it can certainly be like ballet too!) then perfect balance happens after you work like crazy and even with a bit of luck, and then the dance moves on. It is a moment.
Could it be that finding balance in life also means balancing those moments of control, and controlling the moments of falling? I always felt this was so in ballet. We use, rather than resist, the forces around us as we dance. The best way to get up on your leg is to first let gravity take your weight all the way down. Perhaps a balanced life is not a life always lived in perfect balance, but a life full of perfectly balanced moments divided by the falls, lunges and leaps that make those moments of stillness, of perfect balance, so marvelous to be in and magical to behold.
So I don't know how to balance life perfectly. That is why I'm still asking how it is done, and feeling it's a GREAT question. I'm hoping that a life lived with purpose and intention in ALL the moments will be as breathtakingly beautiful as a full ballet and not just a pretty snap-shot.
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
How to Begin Homeschooling TODAY
How do I get started homeschooling? This is probably one of the most frequently asked questions of those posing as homeschool gurus. In case I have fooled anyone into thinking I am such a guru, I thought I should take a crack at answering the question. I have heard this question answered many ways. Some say to begin with finding a workable curriculum. Others recommend studying the varying homeschool philosophies and approaches. Some suggest reading certain books or finding groups to join. I think all these answers are correct in that they reflect first steps that work for homeschooling parents and the children of those parents.
There! That wasn't so bad, was it? You did it, and you CAN do it. Because home-learning is just that! We continuously DISCOVER questions and then find answers to them. Sometimes we discover academic answers. Always we discover HOW we learn, how we share that knowledge, and what makes each person in our family tick. It's one of the best parts of homeschooling. If you don't have all the answers about how you are going to homeschool today, NOW is the perfect time to begin the discovery process!
(If you still feel you need a list of instructions, check out this blog post for a 4 step process.)
PS: Ultimately, when it comes to NOT sending a school-age child to school, the only thing you NEED to do is figure out the legalities of keeping him or her home, and complete those requirements. What those are varies from state to state, even from country to country, so I won't get into specifics here. But hey! there's your first question! :) Happy Discovering!
PPS: Actually, Utah specifics can be found here: http://www.uhea.org/utah-homeschool-laws/filing-your-affidavit/
What I don't like about each of these answers is that I learn from them more about the answering homeschoolers, and nothing about those who would like to begin homeschooling. Let me explain.
One of the first paradigm shifts you may encounter as you begin the homeschooling journey is that there are very few wrong ways to go about learning. Contrary to the impression you may have received from professional educators or learning institutions, learning does not solely occur when we are taught something, nor is learning complete when we have a good answer or are tested on what we have learned. The long-forgotten truth is: to learn is to discover.
(In suggesting that there are very few wrong ways to learn, which idea may be contrary to the impression schools leave, I don't mean to belittle the very real challenges professional educators face, and the value their training and policies play in meeting those challenges. I have discussed a bit of that here.)
What I mean to say is: the simple fact of homeschooling is that you are home-learning. So getting back to the question of how to begin homeschooling, THAT means you CAN and perhaps SHOULD, if you feel so inclined, begin homeschooling TODAY.
You DON'T, in fact, need a book, OR a curriculum, OR a plan, OR an end vision, OR a support group. You might simply say, "I'm going to learn something with my child right now." WHAT you attempt to learn together probably won't matter very much. You could start with something she has asked about. If you can't remember any of her questions, you can begin with any of yours. How you go about finding your answers - whether it is googling it, asking someone, hitting the library, trying something out - won't reflect the right way to come to an answer. But it will reflect your way. (Or your child's way, if he is old enough to jump right in and find the answer first.) Similarly, how you share the answers together isn't the right way to share, but it will be your way.
Thus begins your process of discovering HOW to homeschool. THIS learning, the learning you can begin right now, today, will give you clues as well as the best questions about what YOU might want to try next in your homeschooling process. For example, if in your learning something together today, you came to answers by throwing the question up on Facebook, joining a group will likely be a very helpful move. If you hit a book, or delved into the why's of anything, a book on homeschooling philosophies might be what helps YOU most. If you really struggled to think of anything you wanted to learn, or worried that what you thought might be most interesting wouldn't be covered on any test, finding a curriculum will take some stress out of what to learn next and will likely be relevant to the path your child was or would be on in school.
You DON'T, in fact, need a book, OR a curriculum, OR a plan, OR an end vision, OR a support group. You might simply say, "I'm going to learn something with my child right now." WHAT you attempt to learn together probably won't matter very much. You could start with something she has asked about. If you can't remember any of her questions, you can begin with any of yours. How you go about finding your answers - whether it is googling it, asking someone, hitting the library, trying something out - won't reflect the right way to come to an answer. But it will reflect your way. (Or your child's way, if he is old enough to jump right in and find the answer first.) Similarly, how you share the answers together isn't the right way to share, but it will be your way.
Thus begins your process of discovering HOW to homeschool. THIS learning, the learning you can begin right now, today, will give you clues as well as the best questions about what YOU might want to try next in your homeschooling process. For example, if in your learning something together today, you came to answers by throwing the question up on Facebook, joining a group will likely be a very helpful move. If you hit a book, or delved into the why's of anything, a book on homeschooling philosophies might be what helps YOU most. If you really struggled to think of anything you wanted to learn, or worried that what you thought might be most interesting wouldn't be covered on any test, finding a curriculum will take some stress out of what to learn next and will likely be relevant to the path your child was or would be on in school.
There! That wasn't so bad, was it? You did it, and you CAN do it. Because home-learning is just that! We continuously DISCOVER questions and then find answers to them. Sometimes we discover academic answers. Always we discover HOW we learn, how we share that knowledge, and what makes each person in our family tick. It's one of the best parts of homeschooling. If you don't have all the answers about how you are going to homeschool today, NOW is the perfect time to begin the discovery process!
(If you still feel you need a list of instructions, check out this blog post for a 4 step process.)
PS: Ultimately, when it comes to NOT sending a school-age child to school, the only thing you NEED to do is figure out the legalities of keeping him or her home, and complete those requirements. What those are varies from state to state, even from country to country, so I won't get into specifics here. But hey! there's your first question! :) Happy Discovering!
PPS: Actually, Utah specifics can be found here: http://www.uhea.org/utah-homeschool-laws/filing-your-affidavit/
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