My littlest guy was HATING baths. Poor fella. With my other kids I did better at bathing more often myself, and then having baby with me was such a fun, gentle way to help them grow used to being in water. But life these days has felt too crazy for such indulgences, so I had to find another way to get my youngest clean.
He also hated showering with dad. (No surprise there.) And it didn't matter which sib was in the bath with him (and they all considered it a great privilege to share that with him), or how much they played or smiled, he was convinced it was terrible and he WAS GOING TO DIE.
A few weeks ago I tried something so obvious that you may roll your eyes, but that I had never done with my other kids. I made a puddle in the tub instead of a bath. I had noticed he wasn't afraid of puddles or of water at the park. In fact, it was hard to pull him away from playing with them. So I thought he might be interested to discover he could have his very own puddle at our house!
He watched me put a bit of water in the bath. He saw me turn the faucet off. He noted the water's depth. Then he wanted in. I gladly assisted him there, and stayed close for comfort (and safety, though the water was truly so shallow it would have been a challenge to find a way for it to be dangerous).
As he played I thought to myself, "Good. At least his diaper area and bottoms of his feet are getting clean. They are what probably need it most."
Then he surprised me by trying to turn the faucet on. I thought the water might scare him - the sound or the temperature coming as a shock - but he was so determined I turned it on for a moment, and right off again when I could see his curiosity had been satisfied.
Again, I thought something like, "Well good. It's a bigger puddle and it will make for a better clean."
But before I could decide it was time to be done, he wanted more water again. And he wanted to watch it run for longer. We ended up adding water to the bath several times, each time when he was ready and stopping when he seemed through. And pretty soon my guy who hated baths was sitting in one and getting his whole body clean. Willingly. Pleasantly.
My little girl found us and wanted in on the party so she climbed in. The two of them were playing so contentedly I stepped into the hall where my husband asked, "What's our guy doing in the bathroom?"
"He's taking a bath," I answered.
"Happily?"
So I explained how it happened, and with a smirk on his face, my husband concluded, "It's a metaphor for life."
We both laughed, but he is RIGHT! More specifically, it's a metaphor for homeschooling! How often do the schools, or we anxious, well-intentioned parents drown our children in learning because "it's good for them," or something they need to be accepted in society? Of course, some kids enjoy the dunking right off. Others learn to quietly endure. And some fight it for longer than we really think their resistance could possibly last.
Why DON'T we try a puddle? Base the puddle of information on what they are already interested or fascinated in? Let them play for a bit, and see if they want to add to it? We must be careful to focus on the child's cues and NOT on what we think a reasonable result may be, lest we satisfy ourselves their butts are clean and pull them from their play before they have courageously gone as far as they are able.
My guess is, if we make it THAT fun, all the kids will want in!
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