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Sunday, September 15, 2013

Of Objectives and Obstacles

Have you ever thought something like, "I'd have a clean house were it not for my kids"? Or, "Were it not for my interrupting children, I could finish a 3 sentence email in under 27 minutes"? Or, "I would be amazingly efficient/organized/clean/social, but I'm too busy just being mom"?

I have had many such thoughts. Many.

Usually they come when I am stressed and TRYING TO GET SOMETHING DONE!

When these thoughts come I often let them trickle into my behavior and attitudes towards these obstacles, my children....

And then sometimes I remember that my children are NOT obstacles. And how did I ever forget? I love how beautifully this story illustrates what our children ARE.

It is said that in medieval Rome, the women used to gather and compare their physical appearances. (Not hard to imagine - don't we now?) Anyway, Cornelia Africana, a wealthy Roman woman (of so high a station that a King sought her hand in marriage after he husband's death), was questioned about her simple dress and adornment. She responded by indicating to her 2 sons and answered, "These are my jewels."

MY children are my jewels. They are my objectives, not my obstacles. Like Cornelia, I have chosen to be responsible for their education. I might have a gloriously fancy home, beautifully worded blog posts and emails, throw amazing parties, and live in a clutter-free environment, but if I fail to value my kids, their development, and our time together, I am poor indeed.


Friday, September 6, 2013

Child-led Learning - HOW

Originally, these thoughts were part of my first entry on child-led learning. I made them a separate post for two reasons. First, it was becoming an awfully long blog post to digest. And second, if one isn't convinced of the why's of child-led learning, the hows don't really matter. In other words, it's easy to feel that homeschooling is a daunting enough task in and of itself. Why complicate it with the additional goal of letting the content and method respond to each child? The schools don't do that, and we all turned out fine, right? In the WHY of Child-led learning I argue why this goal is worth the extra effort. And below I'll confess how that goal looks in my home.

My confession is prompted by these questions: "So, how do you let your child lead when you have lots of them, and none of them can read yet? I can't answer or research every question they think of IF I even heard them?" This was asked by a mom who had read my blog post, Courage to Be.


THOSE are great questions. They reminds me of my knee-jerk opposition to homeschooling when my husband first brought it up. I said something like, "That would never work. I want time for me. AND I want to have more than one kid. I don't think I could meet all the needs at once when all the kids are different ages."


Years later I can answer these concerns only with how I've done it. And while it might not be a formula to follow, perhaps my experience can serve as encouragement to find the hows that work for YOUR family. Because giving up on child-led learning is letting go of one of the best parts of homeschooling.


I interject here that our family's version of child-led learning is not as child-led as some families. Some families really do let their kids do whatever strikes their fancy, whenever. I have nothing to argue against that approach. But it' isn't how our child-led learning looks. There are a few reasons our child-led is less extreme than that. But certainly, if you are coming from a mind-set of recreating school at home, our approach may feel like a more comfortable toe in the waters of giving the kids more control over the adventure we call learning.


My first recommendation: Remember how wonderful it is to wonder.

Not every question needs an answer. When my own kids ask questions I don't know the answer to, I think it's really fun to join that questioning mindset. Can you marvel together? Can you come up with answers together? Inviting your kids to suggest what they think is the answer is a marvelous way to gain insight into their minds. My girls, when I do this, usually suggest fanciful and magical answers. I love this. I love hearing their imaginations run wild.

If the question isn't incredibly important, or if it's a question without a right or wrong answer, these imaginative theories are probably better than any fact that might be rattled off. These answers can morph into stories to share - your family's own fables. Or a wonderful guessing game where each person tries to outdo the next in wild suggestions.


Even if there IS a right answer, depending on the child, an answer which engages the imagination might still be a better answer. Is this encouraging our kids to live apart from the REAL WORLD - from the reality they'd better get used to, because life isn't always fairies and flowers? Yes.


But the cold, harsh realities of life have a way of hunting us down, it seems. Not to mention, if you pay attention, you will likely find some of the cold, harsh realities as themes in your child's imagination. So our kids, as they play and imagine, ARE preparing themselves for the world if we let them. And finding silver linings in rain clouds is a life skill too.


At some point, earlier for some, later for others, mom's best guess or a pretty story isn't enough to answer a question. In fact, some minds hit this point before they are able to read, and that is wonderful too.


Second recommendation: Allow curiosities to rise to the top, so to speak. My oldest used to ask "why" all the time. So much sometimes it was as if the question was an automated verbal response to anything I said. I might not spend too much energy researching answers to this sort of questioning. Not because I didn't value giving my child an answer, but because if the answer was complex, and he wasn't REALLY curious, he wouldn't really care or get anything out of the answer anyway.


But there were "why's" that came up more than once, or that my best guess didn't appease. These "rose to the top." Once there, these can be written down for reference at your next trip to the library. Or used to search for a good youtube video. The marvelous thing is, if YOU don't know the answer, YOU get to learn WITH your child. And most information suitable for kids not reading yet will be delivered in a way that is engaging to all ages on some level. So one child's why can be used to engage a whole family's discovery.


So your schedule may not include a regular science curriculum, but it might include a regular trip to the library. Or a regular call to grandpa, who is a science buff.


Which brings me to: Outsourcing. HIGHLY recommend it! I know in the post on the Why's of Child-led learning I asked why we might outsource something as fun as learning. Most parents who send their kids to school have other things that need to be done. Well, don't we all? We have food to cook, clothes to wash, a house to keep, and the non-learning needs of all our kids to meet. We might find it difficult to learn the science principle well enough to teach, or tricky to find the time to figure out how to make math engaging, or hard to let the house cleaning take a back-seat to a messy art-project. So I am all for outsourcing PART of learning. And one upside of doing so, aside from getting the expertise and enthusiasm of whomever we have outsourced to (AND not needing to cover whatever it is we'd be teaching if we hadn't outsourced), is that when one kid is off getting his math/science/art questions and needs met, we have time to meet the educational and life needs of our other kids. Now, finding help and tutors that are able and willing to allow learning to be child-led and not curriculum dictated IS tricky. But it CAN be done.


And you just might have a science curriculum too. We do. I'm not a science buff so I felt I needed one to explain my kids' science-driven questions. (We've also used a science tutor.) We use our curriculum in a few child-led ways. First, I offer to do science with the kids on a regular basis and see when they take me up on my offer. They have never experienced science as "something mom makes us do" so to them it sounds like an offer to have fun, and I can usually get them to say yes to the offer once a week or so. And WHAT I'm offering is child let too. Rather than say, "Would you like to do science?" I notice what they have been wondering about/experiencing, and my offer sounds more like, "Should we learn more about why our muscles get sore?" or "Let's play with the magnets in our science kit!" So though it may negatively affect test scores, we don't follow the curriculum order but insert it's content into the learning we feel inspired to do.


So that's my first big confession. I use a curriculum in our child led learning. The second is that we follow a schedule at home. Like the pirate code that's more guidelines than rules, our schedule is more of a rhythm that we try to sync up with that follow. And I chose the rhythm, but I based it on what I observed the kids naturally do. My son wants to knock any unpleasant or mandatory tasks out in the morning and have the rest of the day free. So our rhythm includes time for him to self-manage through all of that first thing, and a lot of free time whenever he finishes. And unless we have an engagement, I do mean whenever he finishes. The schedule has time frames in mind - they are broad and generous - but it usually means something like, "When we are done with breakfast, whether it's 8:30 or 10, THEN we'll move on to XYZ." The girls, on the other hand have each other to play with, and when they are well rested, they love to play. I don't interrupt that. Handily, their best play time comes when my boy needs more school support. My daughter gravitates towards school activities after lunch so I support her then. And we all like to relax after working hard, so when chores are done, we have family reading time.


My last confession is that I do require my kids to work on certain subjects. I wait until it seems they are developmentally ready, though. My boy didn't grasp math 'til second grade. So he didn't do math 'til then. He is older now, and math is a requirement. And he self paces through his math instruction online. Or we play a math game. Or I invent engaging story problems when he's bogged down in annoying long division work. (I myself HATE long division, but really enjoy figuring out how much I need to save each month so I have an adequate Christmas budget.) My school-age daughter still is frustrated by doing things anyone else's way, so we are still waiting to work on stroke-order for penmanship. When she gets there, it will be something I require because the muscle memory involved can't be built over sporadic sessions. (Math is another "practice subject" in my estimation.)


If I were more extreme in our child-led approach I would probably wait for the kids to initiate both the interest and consistency in these disciplines. Like I said, I have no objection to doing so. We don't.


Outside of those things which need practice (3 R's),  we are opportunistic in what we try to learn. For example, next week someone organized a cheap trip to a historical reenactment park. Knowing my daughter's interest in poetry and powerful women, I suggested she and I learn a bit about a famous poet/prophetess from the time shown at the park. She'll present what we learn together in our Biography Club, and the next day get to step back into the world her subject lived in. Cool!


So that is how child-led looks in our home. Practicing can be done alone. And we do practice. But a lot of our learning we do together. We don't worry too much about whose suggestion or curiosity it is to do so. It might be mine, or one of the girls', or my son's, or pertain to a curriculum, or relate to where we are going or what we are doing in life. We don't try to find answers to all our questions. We do try to ask more than we can possibly answer, and enjoy both the learning and the wondering. And all this is done in snatches between and woven into the lives we live together. It is a fun, sometimes crazy, sometimes stressful, always adventurous life!



Thursday, September 5, 2013

Taste of School

Way back when, when school vouchers were being debated in Utah, one common objection to them was that the taxpayers would be subsidizing private educations, which didn't "seem fair." I thought it was an amusing objective, since the parents using the voucher money were taxpayers themselves. "Well, if you want a private education, use your own money!" It may have been the argument that killed vouchers. And all the people worrying about "fairness" went happily on to spend everyone else's money on their kids' public educations. (Current education figures in Utah put a k-12 education coming in at more than $100,000.)

Homeschooling ranks on the inexpensive side when it comes to alternatives to traditional public school. And yet, sometimes it feels a bit hard to know I'm paying into the public system I'm not using. Like having membership in a club or gym you never hit.

So we have been successfully tempted into schools that promise either their learning supplies/curriculum for free, OR reimbursement for tools/technologies/and curriculum providers of our choosing.

This relates to my confession about being child-led. I need to get to that. But before I do, briefly I confess that both my school-age kids are enrolled in public online schools. For the goodies. I LIKE the laptop, the field trips, the class offerings like Lego Robotics and Digital photography. And I like having access to MY tax money for MY kids.

BUT there are drawbacks, and we ran into one yesterday. My son and I spent a full 2 hours yesterday trying to figure out how to submit 3 simple assignments to his school. Now I understand all technology has glitches, and as a confirmed technologically challenged adult, I should expect more than my fair share. So in the grand scheme of things, perhaps 2 hours should feel small. But that is 2 hours that could have been used in other endeavors.

FINALLY, having completed all the school was requiring of us, I sat back and did my cost/benefit analysis and concluded for all that time, we gained not one shred of knowledge usable in the outside world. (My husband argued we gained software/website savvy. I argue we didn't. The website we were interacting with was unique to the school. All the training pertaining how to use it will be worth nothing once we don't use it.) But before I let my cost/benefit really get me down, I reflected on school as I knew it.

How long did I spend in school for how much knowledge and skill I could use on the outside? Of the 8 hours kids attend school, how much info enhances their being? Really grows their minds and capacities? Maybe no one measures that way. Maybe they don't because the answers would be too painful. So after a frustrating 2 hours, I had to conclude that it was just a taste of school as most know it.

So, SO grateful that MOST 2 hours spent homeschooling yield greater, more meaningful fruit.

Monday, September 2, 2013

Child-led Learning - WHY

One of THE BEST reasons to homeschool:
Why would you outsource one of the most fun and rewarding parts of life: learning?

Now, if you haven't ever thought of learning as fun, chances are you went to public school. And not all public school is boring. In fact, my guess is many kids going like it a lot. But some like the social aspects, and some like recess, and some like seeing their friends, and some like field trips, and some like the praise that comes with good grades, and some like all of that AND learning. But is it any wonder in a room of 20 same-age peers and a teacher, that learning may not be the most fun thing.

Much of the FUN in learning comes with discovery. Whether it's something we've wondered about, or something we never considered, the world is FULL (so full I'll say it again) FULL of wonders, and what could be more delightful than discovering some of them? Some wonders are just fun to know. They might strike us as funny. They might be some factoids that no one else knows, including grandpa, who likes to do the pop-quizzes. Some knowledge gives context and enriches other knowledge - makes the knowing more meaningful. And some enhances our person.

THAT is the other fun part of learning: growing as a person. We grow by increasing understanding of the world - how it works, what makes people tick - and increasing our skill to live in it.

Both the knowledge and skill that are the most FUN to master are unique to the individual. My mom "grooved on" sewing as a child. She is now making my sister's wedding dress. She almost demanded the job - insisting though it might be stressful, that it is what she prepared her whole life to do. My dad, in his youth, spent hours practicing baseball. Now, a month away from 60 years old, he's joined a baseball league and reported pitching for a recent game was the most fun he'd had in years. Not surprisingly, I liked spending time by myself, writing poetry and short stories. Is it any wonder that I feel completely content at the moment, blogging about life and learning?

So every school teacher has two great challenges when it comes to teaching and making learning all the fun it can be. First, it's hard to work a spirit of discovery into a set curriculum. Of course, very skilled teachers are able to get the students to wonder about the subject or material to be covered. So the learning process might feel a bit more like discovery and less like being told something on a schedule. However, the illusion might not last very long. All it takes is one good question from any student who, while fully engaged, might not direct his curiosity down the line of the lesson development. And then the teacher's challenge is getting him to let go of his curiosity, OR spending time on what WON'T be on the test. What a choice to make!

And it's quite probable that our individual curiosities are driven by an inner sense of what will bring us joy. Which gets back to how does one teach the same material to students who may become all sorts of different things when they grow up? Some might become number crunchers, some may work with their hands, some work with people - all of these talents driving the individual's sense of what skills he'd like to master. Creating an education to meet these incredibly varied needs is the second great challenge. But mostly our schools simply pick some skills to encourage, discourage others, and IF any student gets to a point of mastery in the time allowed, it may be nothing short of a miracle!

For these reasons - for keeping learning a process of discovery that serves the needs of individuals - I think it's very foolish for homeschooling parents to try and duplicate school at home. How sad for any student of a home education to never have experienced that learning IS fun! Child-led learning is the best way to keep learning the fulfilling adventure it should be.

Click here to read my post about how to begin Child-led Learning.